It has been a long, hard, slow road to recovery. I am still far from 100% back to normal life, but I have made huge progress. I know that I will get there sooner or later. I have detailed many times before, everything regarding my shunt failure (and why I have a shunt in the first place). So, I won't bore you by rehashing everything.
Between 2020 until 2023, I was constantly in and out of the hospital. I spent around nine months cumulatively in the hospital. I survived twelve brain surgeries and one failed surgery to straighten my left pupil. I wasn't stable health wise until I got transferred to the wonderful Dr. Poca in Barcelona. She implanted me with two programmable vp shunts to deal with the hydrocephalus, but she cured my vomiting and my constant stays in the hospital. I will be forever grateful for her, for taking on my case even though she is a pediatric neurosurgeon.
From 2020 to around 2023, I went through a severe depression, some serious weight loss (due to being put on a puree only diet due to my facial paralysis). In addition to all of the above, I also struggled with (and continue to struggle with, although it has improved a lot) my speech due to the facial paralysis and my balance and stability due to the damage to the fourth ventricle in my brain, caused by the uncontrolled increase in my brain pressure.
Because of the combination of going through my clinical depression and my brain trying to recover from the tbi, my brain naturally produced less dopamine. That is the chemical in your brain that gives you motivation, reward, drive and happiness. I can't blame my lack of progress 100% on my lack of dopamine. However, I like to say that it was 80% lack of dopamine and 20% my own lack of motivation. I researched ways to naturally increase dopamine levels in your brain. Physical exercise is one way to do it. Another is taking a ice cold shower. I started making the last minute of my daily shower, ice cold. At first, I hated it. I would dread the last minute of my shower. However, I forced myself to keep doing it. Now, I love it. It is good for your cardio vascular system, skin, hair and pores.
For a long time, I was in a very negative mindset. I had convinced myself that I would never get any better. I didn't see any progress, so I didn't try. Because I didn't try, I didn't see any progress. The negative cycle continued. I wasted years of my time and my family's time. It must have been extremely frustrating to be someone who loves me, to know that I was capable of doing so much more, yet the one who was blocking my progress forward was me.
It wasn't until I came back home to Texas in January of 2026, that I was finally able to break free from my negative mindset and finally start making real progress. At first, I didn't notice any changes. My parents forced me to keep exercising. Then, slowly but surely I felt my brain reconnecting with my body.
Vía daily physical exercise, I become able to retrain my brain to relearn the skills that I lost. It is not easy and it requires working out six days a week. However, doing all of this exercise is the only thing that I have found that forces my brain to work correctly with my body. Prior to this, my brain would issue a movement command to my body, which my body would either ignore completely, respond very slowly or respond in the complete wrong way. It is very frustrating.
After I kicked myself out of the negative mindset, I knew that I was back in control of my recovery. For many years I wasted my time and the time of my family and friends by expecting my body and brain to heal themselves with no efforts from me. It seems so absurd, now writing it down but I had convinced myself for a long time that it was a valid strategy.
Once I retook control of my recovery, I became an insatiable reader of books that talk about brain Plasticity (the concept that you can retrain your brain and have the undamaged areas of your brain learn to take over the functions of the damaged areas). It was in a book by Dr Norman Doidge, The Brain that heals itself and his follow up book, The brain that changes itself, that I first learned about the pons device (Portable neuromodulation stimulator device) for balance, stability and mobility recovery. I have already made a separate blog post about my use of the pons device, so I won't rehash everything here. However, I am extremely hopeful that after my twelve weeks of exercising, six times a day for twenty minutes each time (five, twenty minute balance and stability exercise sessions with the pons device) and one deep breathing and meditation session with the pons device). I am very hopeful to regain my full mobility.
Having limited mobility is currently my biggest hurdle in returning to normal life. My speech is still an issue but it is a small issue compared to my mobility. I want to give my wife and daughter Eliana Valentina (and everyone else around me) a chance at a normal life again. I know that they won't be able to get there until I do.
I am forever grateful to my wife Jenny, my daughter Eliana Valentina, my parents (for their unending support and for buying the pons device). All of Jenny's family, my extended family and friends. I couldn't do this without all of them. This has been a long, hard journey for six years and counting. I have made lots of mistakes in the past. However, I am trying not to repeat them. Even if I had the ability to take away everything that I have gone through, I don't think that I would do it. Because I have learned so much throughout this journey. I am so much more grateful for the little, ordinary things now. I am hopeful that when I turn 42 years old in December that I will be as close to normal life as I can get.
Til next time, Tyler
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