My Testimony

 Many of you have already seen the video that I recorded in which I shared my testumony. However, I wanted to preserve a written record as well. 

I want to start off this story by apologizing for my speech. I have been affected by facial paralysis due to a traumatic brain injury which I acquired due to uncontrolled hydrocephalus, which is water on the brain. The result of all this has left me with limited mobility and speech issues. I am making huge progress though, via my own efforts in retraining my brain and body to work together. Luckily, my recovery window is not closed as I was told previously. All of my efforts are not easy and I have to work out six days a week relentlessly. However, it is absolutely worth it to know that my brain is responding after going dormant for six years. I have learned throughout this journey, to never stop trying and never give up hope for a better future. My life is not easy, I would not wish this on my worst enemy. However, life is absolutely worth living. I am very lucky to have amazing family and friends. I am grateful for every day that I am given and I know that things could be much worse. However, going into all of my medical issues will be a story for another time. 

Now, onto the reason why I am sharing this. I didn't ever expect or deserve this but God gave me a second chance anyway. I have been a Christian ever since I received Jesus in my heart when I was young. However, over the years, I slowly became agnostic. I still believed in God and Jesus but I was not actively following them. I just thought that if I was a believer but not actually following them that it was good enough. 

I just assumed that I could live my life in this limbo, believing in God but not following Him or thinking about Him. That is until Sunday June 14th, 2026. God slapped me in the face and brought me back to Him. You can run and try to hide from God. However, He has a way of finding you. I am so grateful that He cared enough to do so for me. During Sunday church service, Candace was leading us in the song “Better is one day “. The lyrics say, better is one day in His court than 1000 elsewhere. As we sang those words, I felt a feeling of all encompassing love come over me. Think about the love that you feel for your child or spouse. Now multiply that by a billion times. 

Not only did I feel that feeling, which almost moved me to tears (but I didn't want to cry in public because everyone would assume that I was sad instead of happy) suddenly I heard a male voice say to me in English (in my head, not outloud) “I am real and I am God, and this is your proof”. Scientists could measure the room and tell me that there was nothing there. However, I know what I heard and what I felt. It was not logical or rational or anything that I can explain. But I believe with all of my heart that God was talking directly to me. For many years I had been fighting a war within myself between God and my need for a rational, logical human explanation. God finally ended that war. Sometimes, in life things happen that are beyond our limited human understanding and explanation. 

After this happened I tried to rationalize it. I tried very hard to think of a logical explanation as to what had happened like that I had hallucinated. However, the voice that I heard was as real to me as someone standing right next to me. I failed at finding a rational explanation. It was God talking directly to me and no one can convince me otherwise. I will believe that for the rest of my life. God loves you and desperately wants a relationship with you. You only have to believe and be willing to let him in. He doesn't condemn people to Hell and an eternity separated from Him because he gets joy out of it. He does it only as a last resort. I was thinking about my relationship with my own daughter and how much I love her. However, I imagined her treating me the same way I treated God. Of course I would still love her but it would take time and effort to rebuild our relationship. Not so with God. He accepted me back unconditionally and without any hesitation, after years of me ignoring him. It was as if I never strayed at all. He loves me and you. He wants to be with you forever if you will only believe in Him and let him. I have an all encompassing peace that defies human understanding. Because of the fact that I know with certainty where I will go when I die. 

The last thing that I wanted to mention was the story in the Bible about the thief on the Cross, who was crucified next to Jesus. I am certain that he led a terrible life. However, he was truly repentant and truly believed in Jesus. So, when he died, he went to Heaven. The angel guarding the gates of Heaven asked him, “why do you deserve to enter into Heaven? He said, I don't deserve to be here but the man on the middle Cross (referring to Jesus) said that I could come in. I recently saw a billboard that said, “You can't out sin God's love. You may think that you don't deserve to go to Heaven. However, the truth is that none of us do. God loves you anyway. Just open up your heart enough to let him in. Thank you for listening to my story. I hope that it will be of use to someone going through similar struggles. Just know that as long as you have breath in your body, that God loves you and He desires to be with you forever, if you will just let Him. I have a wonderfully supportive family and friend group that I am forever grateful for, however everything that I have I owe to God. I am so thankful for his love, patience, mercy and acceptance. I am lucky to have found my way back to Him. I am forever grateful to God for giving me this unilateral experience. This was nothing that I asked for nor did I deserve it.