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Sunday, December 01, 2024

Thanksgiving

Since we just celebrated Thanksgiving back home, I wanted to write a short blog about what I am thankful for. I am for my family and friends and each and every one of you reading this. 

I am many things, both good and bad. However, lonely is not one of them. I am truly grateful for all of your support. I am one of the luckiest men alive despite my health challenges.

I am thankful for my beautiful, supportive wife and daughter. I couldn't do this without them. I am also thankful for my super supportive parents and brothers. 

I am thankful for my super supportive in laws and my super supportive brother in law and two sisters in laws. This would be much more difficult without them.

I have an amazing group of friends whom I can't forget to mention. 
I am truly one of the luckiest men alive. I have been blessed beyond measure. I wouldn't change anything even if I could.

Til next time, Tyler 

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Something that I need to get off my chest

This is slightly morbid and I probably think about this more than most people do.

Given my health issues though I think it is understandable. I often wonder when and how I will eventually die. 

Of course, I can never be certain of how or when I will die. This is why I am so grateful for every day of my life. 

On the one hand, I am looking forward to my death and hopefully being able to be reunited with my family and friends who passed away before me. 

I don't want to live forever, but neither do I want to die tomorrow. 89 feels like a good age to go out. However, I will stay alive as long as I can be mentally and physically OK.

Unlike most people my age, I have prepared extensively for my eventual death. I am an organ donor, I have a DNR, I have made my living Will, my funeral and burial arrangements, medical power of attorney and I have prewritten my obituary. 

I will only accept euthanasia if I get diagnosed with a brain disorder where I would lose my memory and independence. 

I do not want to be a burden on my family and slowly waste away. Any other disease though and I would fight it until the end. I don't want Jenny to have to stress about anything. That is why I have prepared all of this in advance. 

I hope that both Jenny and Eliana outlive me but I am not ready to kick the bucket tomorrow. 

I don't know how or when I will die but I hope it will be quick and painless. I had an ex roommate of mine die suddenly at only 49 years old. He died alone in his apartment in Africa. Far away from his family in Canada.

He had no wife or kids and his parents outlived him. I am very lucky not to have that be my fate. Eliana will be my legacy and God willing, I will live to see my grandkids and potentially my great grandchildren. 

I hope that I don't die tomorrow, but if I do then I will be happy with the life I have lead. I couldn't ask for much more. The good and the bad have shaped me into who I am today. 

Even if I could change something about my life I wouldn't change a thing. Everything has happened for a reason. 

I just want to remind everyone reading this to be sure and take advantage of every day that you are given because none of us knows how long that we have left. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Sunday, November 10, 2024

A new future goal : To run again

The doctors recommend that you get 2.5 hours a week of exercise (enough to get your heart rate up)

Currently, I am getting 12 hours a week of exercise. Considering that I am not working, I treat my exercise like a job. Trying my best to recover.

I am trying to get better not only for myself but for Jenny and Eliana. 

They both deserve a normal life and I don't want to hold them back from that any longer than necessary.

I have made the decision to start running for exercise in the future if I am physically able to. 

I have never enjoyed running, but if I regain the ability to do it then I don't want to waste it. 

I need to stick around for as long as possible and being healthy is a good way to do that. 

So, this means that I am getting 9.5 hours more than the recommendations suggest. 

I say  all of this not to brag or make myself look superior, but just to inform you.

Thursday, November 07, 2024

A quick health update

It has been a a while since I have given you an update on my health.

I recently had blood work done. I have to redo my blood work as I had a 24 hour stomach bug during the analysis. So my stomach and intestines were enflamed.

However, my doctor did not see anything alarming. I also recently visited the nutritionist. My weight is holding steady at 74 kg /165 pounds. 

My blood pressure is normal. They measured my grip strength and five months ago, I got 21 kg/46 lbs and just yesterday I got 31kg/68 lbs of grip strength.

I am down to two packages of liquid thickener (per one liter of liquid) down from five packages per one liter of liquid. 

So, overall I am making progress slowly but surely. This is a long, slow process and my daily progress is slow and small but the important thing is that I am moving forward. 

I am still doing my daily exercise program at home. I am still going to my rehab center 4 days a week working on on my balance. I have also started walking an hour extra three days a week. 

I stay busy creating content for my English teaching YouTube channel. I use an artificial voice from Google to speak for me and I use chat gpt to make my scripts. All I have to do is to pick a general topic that I want to teach. 

I am not teaching English in the traditional sense. However, I enjoy it and it makes me feel productive and I am able to do the only thing that I have ever been any good at, albeit in a new and distinct way. 

I am also practicing my speech at home. Additionally, I have a podcast that I do with friends in order to practice my speech and allow me to catch up with friends. 

I can kill two birds with one stone. I record the audio and then I upload it to YouTube. Let me know if you are interested in being a guest on my podcast. 

Currently (and hopefully forever) all of my health problems are minor annoyances like dry, sensitive skin. I am very lucky to be alive and functioning much better than before. 

I am hopeful that I will fully recover sooner or later. Jenny and Eliana deserve a break. My daily grind is pretty boring, as I am looking for work but not currently working. 

A home based job due to my mobility issues and a job where I don't have to talk on the phone due to my speech issues. So far, it has not been easy to find a job which fits my specifications.

I had uncontrollable trembling in hands prior to 2024. I also had severe pain in my neck where the doctors implanted a shunt. Additionally, I had severe vomiting and weight loss. 

I also had a constant swaying feeling whenever I stood up. Thank God all of those issues are now gone. My hands only shake uncontrollably when I get very tired. 

Other than not finding any work I really can't complain much. I am focused on my physical training and trying to get back to normal while I continue looking for work.

I still need some help with my daily stuff but I am doing much better than before. I can shower alone (sitting down) and I can dress and feed myself. All of the basics I can do on my own. 

I am looking forward to the day when I am totally independent again. I am a lucky guy who is deeply grateful to my family and friends. Not everyone has the amazing support system that I do. 

Now you are updated. Til next time, Tyler 

Saturday, November 02, 2024

Living with uncertainty

No doctor can guarantee that the shunts implanted on my brain will not need to be replaced.

They could last the rest of my life or fail tomorrow. Since I have two of them there is double the chance of failure.

I read online directly from the manufacturer of my shunts that the average time between shunt replacements is 37 months. It has already been 24 months for me.

I can't stand the thought of having to start my recovery over from square one. However, my first shunt lasted 35 years so I hope I will get a long time out of these.

Since this is nothing that I can control I try not to stress about it because no amount of stress will change the underlying facts. I can only hope that they will last the rest of my life and I will not have to start my recovery over from scratch. 

Saturday, October 26, 2024

Something that I want to remember

I am putting this here for posterity sake. Just so I don't forget it. 

I found out this morning that my ex roommate from Canada passed away. He was only 49. I certainly hope that Eliana outlives me. No parent should outlive their kids. 

I feel bad that he died alone. Far away from family and friends. He moved to Africa after leaving Colombia. His family is located in Canada. 

He died without a wife or child unfortunately. Sadly, he will not have a long lasting legacy. I am a lucky guy who gets to hopefully avoid that fate. 

None of us know how long we have on this earth. So be sure to hold on to your loved ones tightly and take advantage of every day that you are given.

Til next time, Tyler 

Wednesday, October 09, 2024

My Mental Health

I have said this before, but I would repeat this a million times over if I knew it would help someone.

Two years ago, I went through a very dark and depressing period in my life.

I was really struggling health wise and doing much worse than I am now.

I was completely numb emotionally. Nothing made me happy, sad, angry, frustrated or annoyed.

The only reason why I even opened my eyes every day was because it was an automatic reflex from my body. I was not motivated to do anything. I wasn't living for anyone or anything. 

Then they put me on an antidepressant (which I am no longer taking)

It gave me back normal human emotions and I am very thankful for modern medicine.

I do not agree with the decision to commit suicide. You are selfishly ending your own pain but starting a ton of pain for the friends and family that you leave behind.

I do not agree with someone's decision to commit suicide but after going through my own depression I do understand it. Some people just want to end the numbness. 

I was very lucky to come out the other side, I was able to return to my normal life with those people who love me and whom I love.

If any of you reading this, ever find yourself in a dark place mentally, you can feel free to reach out to me and just know that you are not alone and things will get better.

I love each and every one of you. I hope to have many more happy years left and I hope to get back to normal life sooner or later. I have a beautiful wife and daughter to live for. I have amazing friends and family. 

However, even if I don't have much time left here on earth, I truly am one of the luckiest men alive despite my health issues. I would take away all of my health issues if I could, but since I can't, I wouldn't change a thing. 

Til next time, Tyler

Sunday, October 06, 2024

Something that I need to repeat


I already posted this entry so some of the information may be duplicated but some may be new. 

I combined it all into one entry. My apologies for the confusion. 

I took this from my Facebook page but I thought I would put it here for posterity.

I have said this before, but it bears repeating. I would not wish my medical conditions on my worst enemy. But as hard as things are sometimes, I truly am very lucky. I don't have a degenerative condition and if I continue to work hard it will only get better.

I need to get better not only for myself but for my wife and daughter. I am not a vegetable, I still have a lot of life ahead of me even if I can't do everything exactly as before.

I am grateful for every day that I am given and I am so thankful to my amazing family and friends. I will continue to work hard until I get back to normal.

Having both my speech and my mobility affected has not been easy. However, it could be worse and it has forced me not to take anything for granted. 

My daily progress is slow and small but when I think about where I was two years ago, I have come a long way. The daily grind doesn't bother me because anything is better than being stuck in the hospital. Just being able to live life is a miracle. 

This will be long but please bear with me. I have said this before, but  I will say it again. 

I have been through a lot during the past four years.

I have had 12 brain surgeries, bringing my total surgery count to 29.

I have been through pain that felt unbearable. I have been on a diet of totally pureed food.

I have spent over six cumulative months in the hospital and I have lost over 30 pounds of weight.

My left eye went crooked due to my increased brain pressure. 

My depth perception got destroyed. However, my overall vision was not greatly affected. 

I had constant vomiting and couldn't hold any food down. I also had a constant swaying feeling every time that I stood up. 

I had severe neck pain where they implanted a shunt. 

Luckily, now all those problems have gone away. 

I wouldn't wish my balance or speech issues on my worst enemy.

However, as bad as things seem, I am very lucky to be alive and functioning for the most part.

I easily could have died multiple times but I did not.

I am not a vegetable and I hope to have many good years ahead of me.

I am confident that I will get back to normal life sooner or later as my condition is not degenerative and will only continue to improve with time and effort.

I have an amazing family and friends who have been incredibly supportive.

I have made a lot of progress, even if it has been slow and small. I can eat any solid food that I want and I use less thickener in my liquids. 

My speech is generally understandable after you have spent some time with me. 

I have not lost my ability to speak or understand Spanish. 

My short term memory is now terrible. However, my core long term memories have been unaffected. 

I had constant vomiting and I couldn't hold down any solid food. It was a major cause of my weight loss. 

I also had a constant swaying feeling every time that I stood up. 

Additionally, I had severe neck pain where they implanted a shunt. 

Luckily, all of those problems are now gone. 

I have to keep going not only for myself, but for Jenny and Eliana.

All things considered, I truly am one of the luckiest men alive. I wish this never happened to me but it did and I have to play the hand that I was dealt.

I had amazing doctors and nurses who gave me the best possible care with the information that they had. 

When you have a surgery in the United States, they always make you count backwards from ten and you are asleep before you get to zero. 

In Spain, they don't do a count down. Once, I was having an eye surgery and they were taking a long time to get everything ready. I angrily asked the nurse when we were going to start the surgery. 

She proceeded to tell me that they had already finished everything! I immediately felt bad for losing my temper. 

I am very lucky not to have to pay off medical debt for the rest of my life. I was also very lucky to leave the hospital without getting an infection or an addiction to pain medication. 

I am grateful for every breath that I am given in this imperfect world of ours.

Til next time, Tyler 

Sunday, September 22, 2024

Something that I have said before

I took this from my Facebook page but I thought I would put it here for posterity.

I have said this before, but it bears repeating. I would not wish my medical conditions on my worst enemy. But as hard as things are sometimes, I truly am very lucky. I don't have a degenerative condition and if I continue to work hard it will only get better.

I need to get better not only for myself but for my wife and daughter. I am not a vegetable, I still have a lot of life ahead of me even if I can't do everything exactly as before.

I am grateful for every day that I am given and I am so thankful to my amazing family and friends. I will continue to work hard until I get back to normal.

Having both my speech and my mobility affected has not been easy. However, it could be worse and it has forced me not to take anything for granted. 

My daily progress is slow and small but when I think about where I was two years ago, I have come a long way. The daily grind doesn't bother me because anything is better than being stuck in the hospital. Just being able to live life is a miracle. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Saturday, September 14, 2024

Our Trip to Texas

Now that we are safely back home in Pamplona, I thought that I would update you on our recent trip. 

In August of 2024, my mom came to Pamplona to stay with us. Then, Jenny, Eliana and I went back to Texas with her for two weeks. 

It was Eliana's first time in the US. We had a great time visiting family and friends. Eliana had the chance to meet my grandmother, her great grandmother. It was a special time. 

We traveled to (in no particular order) Austin, San Antonio, Athens, Sulphur Springs, New Braunfels, Little Elm and to my parents' place in Saint Jo. We were here, there and everywhere but we had a great time even with my limited mobility.

In Austin we stayed with my dad's cousin Tony (whom I have always known as uncle Tony even though he is not my true uncle) and his wife Susan. We had a great time catching up with everyone. 

We stayed with my brother Jason and his wife Lou in New Braunsfels. We then took a day trip to San Antonio and we did the river walk.

We also went to Athens and stayed with my uncle Richard and his wife Janice. Eliana got to go tubing and she had fun on Lake Athens. 

In Sulphur Springs we got the chance to visit with Nana (my grandmother and Eliana's great grandmother) I was very happy that they finally got to meet each other in person. That is a special thing that not everyone gets the chance. 

We were very lucky to see all of my dad's brothers and sister and their spouses. Plus most of my cousins and their spouses and kids. 

We also had a party in Little Elm with lots of my friends and their kids. Some people I hadn't seen in twenty years. There was a bounce house and swimming pool there. Eliana had a great time. 

Finally, we spent time at my parent's new lakeside cabin in Saint Jo, Texas. Eliana had a great time swimming in the lake and seeing all the animals. She also got to drive the golf cart. 

Overall, it was great seeing family and friends and spending time in Texas. Our two weeks went way to fast. We will alternate years between Texas and Spain so the next time we will be going back home for a visit will be in two years. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Saturday, August 10, 2024

My Depression

I originally posted this on Facebook but I thought I would include it here for posterity sake. I went through a very dark and depressing period when I was at my sickest. I got no joy out of life and I was not motivated to do anything. I didn't feel sadness or anger or annoyance or happiness. I was just numb inside and going through the motions.

I got on an anti depressant (which I am no longer taking) and now I am back to normal. I hope to never go through that again.

I also hope that none of you ever have to go through it. Remember, if you ever need anyone to talk to, you are not alone. I am just a message away.

I do not agree with someone's decision to end their life. I believe everyone has something to live for. The good times are good and the bad times don't last forever. 

I believe that suicide is a selfish and egotistical decision because you are ending your pain but leaving behind pain for your loved ones and friends. I am glad I never got to that point, but now I can understand firsthand why someone would choose to make the decision to end their life.

Til next time, Tyler 

Thursday, August 08, 2024

Progress Update

It has been a little while since I have given you dear readers a progress update.

In a nutshell, my daily progress is slow and small but when I think how far I have come in the past four years my progress is huge and I am very pleased. 

I know this is a marathon and not a sprint. I will take any little progress that I can get. 

The constant swaying and stomach issues are gone thank God. I am very lucky to have a condition that will only continue to improve not get progressively worse. 

I still can't walk without assistance (either someone holding me or a walker or wheelchair) but my balance is coming along slowly but surely. I am hopeful that I will be able to walk again unassisted in the future. 

I had established a goal for myself to be walking unassisted five years from now. However, my physical therapist told me that it is better to have smaller achievable goals that you can actually measure rather than a distant goal in the future that you may not be able to achieve. 

My speech is coming along as well. I am mostly understandable now in both English and Spanish once you spend a little bit of time with me. I still struggle over the phone when you can't see my lips moving. 

My hands still shake uncontrollably when I get overly tired and my balance gets worse when I get overly tired. As long as I monitor my fatigue then I am generally OK.

I still need thickener added to my liquids but I use less now than before. I can eat any solid food that I want. I can have ice cream again. I couldn't have it previously because it was too liquid when it melted and it was in danger of going directly to my lungs. This is a slow going war against my condition but little by little I am winning.

I still have not been able to find work. Ideally I am looking for a job that I can do from home where I don't have to talk on the phone. 
I am willing to get a job outside of the house but because my mobility is limited, I prefer a home based job. However, nothing suitable has shown up yet. 

I am going to physical therapy four days a week and working at home on my own. I was going to government sponsored speech therapy once a week but it recently ended. They have authorized four more sessions but they have not started yet. 

At my lowest back when I was on my liquid diet, I lost weight until I was down to 110 lbs/52 kg. I am back up to 164 pounds/74 kg. My maximum weight was 168lbs/76 kg. So, I plan to stay between 160-168 pounds.

That is all for now, Tyler 

Friday, July 26, 2024

Ten Years with Jenny

Today is not our anniversary. However, I was just thinking that come this August I will have known Jenny for ten years. So much has happened in the past ten years. 

We have had our ups and downs like any couple. Despite that fact, there is no one else I would rather spend my life with. I doubt there is anyone else that could put up with me!

We have lived in three different countries together and visited 18 different countries.  21 different countries if you count the airport transit only countries. 

We have survived 12 brain surgeries together and we have our little princess Eliana. I am truly one of the luckiest men alive. Jenny I love you and Eliana to the moon and back. I am looking forward to spending many more years together.

Til next time, Tyler 

Friday, July 19, 2024

Daily Life

Recently, it was 39c or 102f outside. We decided that because it was so miserably hot and we don't have air conditioning in the house (common in this part of the world) that we would have a picnic at the lake.

The lake that we go to is located about an hour away from us by car. At the lake there is a lot of shade and they sell ice-cream for dessert. It is a nice place to swim and relax. 

Really we did nothing special. However, Sayo, Neyda and Ana were there. We got the chance to chat catch up and just relax. 

I throughly enjoyed myself and Eliana had a great time. We didn't do anything special but when I die, and hopefully get to Heaven, I will miss those little moments of eating some good food and relaxing with family and friends. I hope it is not something I will long for while in Heaven.

Til next time, Tyler 

Friday, July 12, 2024

Modern Life

I was just thinking today about how lucky I am to be alive in 2024 (and hopefully a lot longer). I was extremely lucky to have been born in Texas in 1984.

I had access to great doctors and nurses who in turn had access to the knowledge and technology to save my life. Had a been born somewhere else or a few years earlier, I might not have made it. 

Thirty five years later I got lucky again to be in Spain and have the Spanish healthcare system save my life again. This has been a long, slow, difficult road to recovery. However, I will get there slowly but surely.

Living in 2024 we have tons of modern technology that our ancestors could only dream about. Daily life is no longer hard in the modern world.

We have access to all of the food, water, housing and basic necessities that we can afford. Gyms are such a huge industry because so many people are overweight and unhealthy.

That is a very modern problem. Due to modern medicine and healthcare we are living longer than ever. Until recently, people lived short, hard lives just trying to survive day by day.

These days we have the privilege of hopefully living until old age. Statistically, most of use will probably die from something related to old age, our bodies just wear out. We are lucky in that respect. For most of humanity we never had to even think about that. 

Due to modern technology, it is theoretically possible to have all of your daily survival needs met yet to not interact face to face with another human being. The Internet has been one of the world's most important inventions, but it can also be used to cause harm. 

One of the biggest threats facing humans are humans themselves. If global warming doesn't wipe us out, it may be nuclear war, A. I. an asteroid, a disease or something we don't even know about yet.

That is why I try to take advantage of every day that I am still vertical. Because none of us know how or when we will take our last breath. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Wednesday, July 10, 2024

The State of the Titanic Wreckage

I considered making this a status update on my Facebook page but I decided that I had more to say so a long format blog post would be better.

Today I was taking my daily stroll through Wikipedia. I read one random article a day so that I can expose myself to things that I would never think of looking up. 

Today's article was about the Wreckage of the Titanic. Everyone should know that it sank in April 1912 on its way to New York from London on her maiden voyage with the loss of over 1500 people.

The wreckage was found in 1985. So the location has been known for my entire life. I am 99.9% sure I will never visit the wreckage but it is nice to know that I have the option.

In the article, it said that scientists believe that by 2037 the wreckage will be completely gone. Eaten by time and bacteria. Provided that I have the opportunity to live until 2037 (hopefully!) 

It is strange to think that in my lifetime, they went from discovering the wreckage to it being completely gone. I wonder how many other things have come and gone within my lifetime?

My great grandfather (dad's grandpa) was born in 1903 and he died in 1992. That means he was born before the Titanic sank and died after they had found it.

By the time Eliana is 18 years old the wreckage will be totally gone. She won't be able to visit it even if she wanted to.

As far as I know I didn't have any relatives aboard the Titanic but for those who did, I wonder how they feel about it. 

That's all for now. Thanks for reading, Tyler 

Monday, July 08, 2024

Eliana Valentina

I know that I have mentioned my daughter Eliana Valentina before but I wanted to give her a special blog post dedicated just to her.

Jenny calls her Valentina and I call her Eliana. However, she answers to both names. Jenny and I couldn't agree on her name, so we decided to combine both names so we would both be happy. 

Generally speaking, everyone who speaks Spanish as their native language calls her Valentina and everyone who speaks English as their native language calls her Eliana.

She is kind, caring, loving, intelligent, funny, sweet, empathetic, loyal, helpful, determined, friendly, patient for the most part. Of course because she takes after me she is also stubborn. 

In many ways she is a typical toddler. She cries and fights with us and makes us crazy. However, her good qualities vastly outweigh the bad.

As I have previously mentioned, I waited a long time to have a child and now I regret that I didn't do it sooner when I was younger and healthier. I waited so long because I was scared of the big responsibility of parenthood. 

That being said, I love my daughter more than anything and I am so lucky to be her dad. I was worried that she would treat me differently due to my speech issues and my limited mobility. However, she has always treated me the same as any able bodied person.

When Jenny was pregnant, I was terrified that Eliana would be born with my medical problems. Luckily, nothing I have is genetic and she was born perfectly healthy. 

The worst thing she has had thus far, other than your typical flu and cold is hand, foot and mouth disease. Luckily, we were able to clear that up quickly with some cream. 

She has dealt with a lot in her short life, mostly due to me being sick in one form or another for the entirety of her life. I hope to give her and Jenny a chance at a normal life. They are my motivation to keep going. 

Eliana has been blessed with amazing grandparents (Jenny's parents) and my parents have been great. Even though they are far away and don't get to see her in person as much as they would like. 

My parents have given me an excellent example of how to have a good marriage and be a good father. 

She is looking forward to our visit home this summer. She will get to meet my last remaining grandma (her great grandma) and all of my extended family plus spending time with my parents. 

I like to joke that she is 3 going on 30. Sometimes, her maturity level shocks me. She is ready to be an adult. 

She is also completely bilingual in both English and Spanish. Even though she always responds in Spanish, I speak to her exclusively in English and she understands me completely. 

I am looking forward to watching her grow up and I hope to have many more years with her and Jenny. 

I wanted to quickly mention that I had a friend who sadly died in a car crash on Thanksgiving weekend 2010. She was in a car that was hit by a drunk driver who was also texting. He had a good lawyer though so he only got his drivers license suspended for a year plus six months of community service. 

Her mom sadly has never really gotten over her death (she was only 27)and I couldn't understand it really until Eliana was born. After holding her for the first time, I could finally understand the depth of the love she still has for her only child. I got a glimpse of her pain and I pray that it is something that I never have to experience. I could also understand the love that my parents have for me. 

Eliana is my legacy and hopefully she will live on long after I am gone. 
Eliana I love you to the moon and back and you are the best decision I ever made. 

Love, Dad

Sunday, July 07, 2024

Summer Fun

I am very excited to announce that my mom will be coming to Spain to visit us from July 30th until August 28th and then Jenny, Eliana and I will be going with her for Eliana's first time visiting Texas.

We will stay in Texas until September 13th. Hopefully the flights will go smoothly for everyone. We will be flying from Pamplona to Madrid and then onto Dallas. It will be Eliana's second ever flight. She did well with her first time though. The flight from Madrid to Dallas is 10 hours though so it is not short. 

We are very excited to see everyone, friends and family. We have lots of fun stuff planned to see and do with Eliana.

I am sure that my dad will be happy to see his granddaughter again and my grandmother will be happy to meet her great grand daughter for the first time. My brother's will also be excited to see their niece. 

We are at the start of a big festival here in Pamplona called San Fermines. Everyone takes this opportunity to have a holiday and millions of people from around the world come to Pamplona. Everyone traditionally wears all white clothes and a red bandanna. 

We are excited for the future. Til next time, Tyler 

Saturday, July 06, 2024

A more detailed look at my progress

So I recently had an evaluation of my progress at the place that I go to for my physical therapy. In a nutshell, I am making progress slowly but surely.

A more detailed explanation is that I am walking (still assisted by a walker) slower than a year ago when they tested my walking pace for a continuous six minutes. 

However, I am walking with more precision and control than a year ago. So the speed doesn't matter to me, I am not looking to win any races. So I'll take that progress. 

Secondly, I had to do a test where I had to move blocks from left to right (then right to left) across my body as fast as I could. I completed this test actually slower than a year ago but this time I had no back support. 

So I had to support my entire upper body. A year ago I did it faster, but they gave me a chair with a back on it. So again, that is progress that I will take.

Next, they made me push circular buttons which lit up with a specific color in a specific order and I had to tap the correct lit button as fast as I could. 

Then, they made me act like I was going to pick something up off the floor, but I was holding a metal bar that weighed sixteen pounds. It tried to pull me forward and I had to use my strength to fight against it. 

Lastly, I had to stand up (without moving) unsupported for fifteen seconds. Then, I had to raise up first my right foot then my left foot onto a stepper then back down again. I passed this test as well. 

I asked my therapists to rate my progress on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being no progress, and 10 being totally normal. However, they told me that it was too complicated to rate myself like that because there are too many different individual factors to take into account.

If I was forced to rate my progress from 1 to 10, I would rate myself between 4-6. I feel like anything less than 4 is unfair to myself and anything more than 6 is being too generous.

I understand that this is a marathon and not a sprint. However, I am a lucky guy who has a very supportive family and friends. Even if it takes me 5 more years to get back to normal, I am lucky that my condition is not degenerative and will not get progressively worse, only better with time and effort.

I go to physical therapy 4 days a week to work on my balance and walking. I also have speech therapy once a week to try and regain my ability to speak normally and get off the thickener that I have to add to my liquids. 

I have great therapists in both speech and physical therapy. I am extremely lucky to have the opportunity to take advantage of the services that they offer.

I am blessed and lucky to be alive and functioning for the most part. I look forward to the day that I can walk again unassisted and speak normally again and drink liquids with no more thickener. 

My hands still shake when I get overly tired and my fine motor skills are still lacking but the swaying feeling that I had (like I was constantly on a cruise ship) is gone. I am still relatively young mentally, but I am trapped in a body which sometimes doesn't listen to my brain. 

That is the most frustrating thing. To have my brain healing faster than my body. I am trapped in an old man's body. 

All of these things may seem simple to people who are without medical conditions but I assure you, they are not easy for me. However, it is good for my practice and my excellent therapists always have new and unique challenges for me. 

Overall though, things could be much worse. As long as I don't need anymore brain surgeries or to go back to the hospital I will consider myself fortunate.

Til next time, Tyler 

Friday, July 05, 2024

The Supreme Court Decision

I was reading the news on July 4th and I found out about the most recent Supreme Court decision. It is ironic on a day meant to celebrate our freedom, liberty and democracy that decision came down which will affect all of it.

I won't say that I was surprised by the decision but I was disappointed. Someone who is not disappointed is Donald Trump. Now the chances that he will be criminally charged with anything are slim to none. 

I am bothered by the fact that if Trump is reelected, he can now do whatever he wants without fear of punishment of any kind. 

Of course there are rules that say that a President may be prosecuted but they are so broad and badly defined, they might as well be non existent. 

What worries me even more than Trump doing something bad (which I expect) but that a future President will do something horrible without the fear that he/she will be punished. 

All the conservative judges voted for the new law and all the liberal judges voted against it but unfortunately they were out numbered. 

This decision is especially bad because it was decided by the Supreme Court. There is no one to appeal to. Now, we just have to hope that a person acting in bad faith doesn't take advantage of this giant loophole. 

Because now the President can literally kill someone in public and not be charged with anything only because he/she is the President. Scary. I am not happy with the new direction the USA is headed in. I am thankful to be living in Spain. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Tuesday, July 02, 2024

Common Knowledge

I assumed for many years that there were common facts or knowledge that humanity agreed upon around the world regardless of the culture, country or language.

However, that assumption was wrong. One day Jenny and I were talking, I don't remember how, but we stumbled upon the subject of how many continents there are in the world. 

Being American, of course I said that there are seven. She quickly disagreed with me. I remember laughing and calling her crazy. 

Then I asked her to list all of the continents in the world. She then said America was one continent. In Colombia and Spain they don't split North America and South America. 

In Colombia they also don't consider Antarctica a continent because only scientists are there for research purposes. In Spain, they don't split North America and South America but they do consider Antarctica a continent. 

For those of you keeping track at home, that is five total continents for Colombia and six for Spain.

Jenny and I laugh about it now but it was crazy to me at first. I will be very interested to see what they will teach Eliana in school. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Monday, July 01, 2024

Unavoidable Things

In English, we have a famous saying. It goes like this "There are only two unavoidable things in life, death and taxes."

We all have to die one day. None of us know how exactly we will die or when. My eventual death (hopefully a long way off) doesn't bother me. 

As I have previously mentioned, I am looking forward to my next adventure. What bothers me, is thinking about the eventual death of my friends and family. 

I don't want to live without any of them but I know sooner or later I will have to. 

That is the reason why I am such a big believer in living life to the fullest every day that we are given. Because none of us know how long we have left. Remember, you can't take your money with you when you die and dead people can't talk. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Sunday, June 30, 2024

Travel Mishaps

I have had too many minor travel mishaps over the years to mention all of them. Luckily, they have never been trip ending or life disrupting. I have learned something from each one. I figured I would share the top ones that come to mind with you.

One time, in Thailand I booked a trip to a local island for a week. I was traveling alone at the time. I enjoyed my week there without any problems.

 However, when it was time to leave they messed up their head count and they forgot me on the island! Luckily, I had enough money to wait out an extra week for the next boat back to the mainland. I just considered it an extended vacation.

Next up is the story of how I met my good friend Simon from England. I was traveling alone again and I decided to take an overnight bus from Thailand to Laos as the two countries border each other. 

I paid for my ticket and the bus had little beds to sleep in overnight. They were not big and comfortable but they were good enough for the night. 

I climbed into my bed and proceeded to get settled in for the night. Suddenly, a stranger (at the time) came up to me and said that I was in his bed. 

I proceeded to tell him that I was sure that it was in fact my bed. We then checked our tickets, and the travel agency had given us both the same bed!

We ended up sleeping head to toe. We bonded and traveled together for three weeks. Fifteen years later, he is still a good friend of mine. Even though we joke that we slept together on the first date. 

Once, in Laos I paid 3 usd to ride in the back of a truck for eight hours. What I did not realize, was that I would be sharing the back of the truck with Old McDonald's Farm. I had to ride with pigs, chickens, goats, sheep and other farm animals. They climbed all over me. I was glad to get out of that truck!

Once in Colombia, before I was living there, I was just traveling. I failed to tell my bank that I would be in Colombia. So, thinking that I was a scammer, they blocked all of my credit /debit cards. 

At the time, I didn't speak any Spanish. But I managed to convey my problem to a nice local shop keeper. He let me use his phone for free. I called the only person who I knew at the time, my couch surfing host and he came and picked me up. 

Another time in Colombia, when I was living there but had recently moved there. My Spanish at the time was basic but passable. 

I got on the local bus intending to go to a local mall. The bus was on the opposite side of the road from the mall. I assumed that the driver would make a U Turn and pass by the mall. 

However, he did not. He kept going until I had no idea where I was. I didn't want to get off of the bus in a place that I was unfamiliar with. So, I stayed on the bus until I was the last passenger left. 

We were in the middle of nowhere, and the driver finally asked me what I was still doing on his bus. I managed to explain my predicament in broken Spanish. 

He was nice enough to buy me a coke and drive me all the way back to Bogotá proper. I just considered it a unique and cheap way to see places that I would have never seen. 

One time again in Colombia, I was alone again (notice a theme here) and I decided to visit a famous statue on top of a big hill in Bogotá. I took the bus to get there and got off the bus at the bottom of the hill. 

There was a large police station located at the bottom of the hill. A police officer ran out of the police station when I passed it and he told me in no uncertain terms, that if I visited the statue, there was a large probability that I would be killed, robbed or kidnapped. 

He then waited with me at the bus stop and sent me back to Bogotá proper. He possibly saved my life but I still have not seen that statue in person. 

I have been robbed more than once but luckily, never via violence just petty pickpocketing. One time I was out drinking with friends, not paying any attention to my things.

I had my 800 usd work laptop in my bag. Someone proceeded to steal my bag (I never saw them) and they replaced my black backpack with an empty black backpack. 

Another time in Colombia, someone spit on me. I thought it was gross but I didn't give it another thought. I did not realize until later, that when I moved my hands to wipe off the spit, they reached into my pocket and stole my wallet. 

It was after that I started to chain my wallet to my body. Another time, I dropped my phone in the bus in Colombia. I considered it lost. However, I decided to call it. 

A stranger answered, he told me that he would give me back my phone for a reward of 50 usd. That was more than my phone was worth at the time so I met him in a public place, gave him the equivalent of ten usd and got my phone back. 

I was bitten by a dog in Colombia. It broke the skin but luckily I didn't require a round of rabies shots. 

One time before my wedding in Colombia, I convinced my parents and my aunt and uncle to take a city bus instead of being stuck in traffic in a private taxi. 

Once we boarded the bus, it was jammed to the gills with people (as per usual in Bogotá) and my parents and aunt and uncle were horrified and vowed to never ride the bus again. 

Switching countries now, I was pick pocketed once in Argentina but I never saw them either.

To switch countries yet again, I once at dinner at a local no name restaurant in Bolivia and I was served undercooked beef and I got an intestinenal parasite. That was no fun at all. Luckily, I took some pills that killed it. 

Switching countries yet again, once in Surfers Paradise, Australia Ben and I had our rented camper van broken into. There were no cameras where we were parked but, the local police said based on finger prints, it was probably a child between 8-12 years old!

Ben had his laptop, passport and journal stolen. I however, was lucky to have all my valuables on my person. 

Another funny story from Australia, took place around 2008 or 2009. I booked a tour and I was traveling Australia alone. Our tour guide said that we would be passing by the American Embassy. I was the only American on the tour and at the time, I had never seen an American Embassy so I was excited. Then we passed McDonald's and everyone laughed at his joke. 

One story that comes to mind from New Zealand was the time my terrible couch surfing host (he was the only bad couch surfing host that I ever had in 90+ times Couch Surfing) left me at a party where I knew no one. 

However, I met my now good friend Natasha and she let me stay at her apartment even though we had just met. I ended up sub letting her apartment, and it turned into mine. There are still good people in this world. 

These are all of the stories that come to mind for now. I hope you have enjoyed reading them. I have been very lucky that all of these have been minor. I have been to 44 countries and lived in 7 of them. Overall, I have been extremely fortunate.

Til next time, Tyler 

Friday, June 28, 2024

Thanks Again

I know that I have already thanked everyone but I wanted to do it again to be sure everyone knows how grateful I am.

To all my family and friends, both distant and close, to those who gave financially, or in physical support, or even to those who gave me moral support, I will be forever grateful and I will owe you a debt that I can't repay. 

My dad has fraternity brothers from college that he has known for 50 years. I know some of them but not all of them. I am certainly not close to any of them. 

However, many of them donated to me without a second thought. One of my dad's friends in particular, is an insurance salesman. He received his monthly commission check and I am sure that he could have put that money to good use but he donated the money to me. 

I was very impressed and thankful for his kind and selfless gesture. 

No matter how small your gesture, I am thankful for it. I am lucky to have Jenny and Eliana by my side and to have an amazing family (both close and extended). I also have amazingly supportive friends. 

I am also thankful to all the doctors and nurses that have cared for me throughout this long journey. 

Thanks again. This has been and continues to be a long journey back to normal life but I will get there sooner or later. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Thursday, June 27, 2024

The Memory Palace

Years ago, I was teaching an English class about memory. I shared with them a technique for remembering a list of items when you are unable to write down your list. 

My short term memory has been affected by all of the anesthesia from my various brain surgeries so I use this technique quite a lot. Luckily my long term memories and language abilities have not been affected, even if my speech has. Now I will share the technique with you. I hope that it is helpful to someone.

Firstly, you need to think of a place that you are very familiar with. I find it helpful to think about my house. However, if you want to choose another place, feel free to do so. 

So, imagine your house. Each individual room in your house. You need to place each item on the list of things that you want to remember, somewhere in your house.

It is important to make sure that it is unusual because then it will be easier to remember. 

For example, imagine that you want to remember your grocery list but you have nothing to write on. You need to remember to buy bread, milk and eggs for example. 

So, you place your bread on your couch in your living room. That is easy to remember because it is not the normal place where your bread goes. 

Next, you place your milk on the roof of your house. Again, that is not the normal spot. 

Finally, you place your eggs on top of your bed. Now all you have to do is to think of each location that you chose, and the item that you put there. Now you just remembered bread, milk and eggs all without writing anything down. 

One other tip, unless your memory is excellent, I would not suggest that you try to remember a list of things that is longer than rooms in your house. For example, if you can only think of ten locations in your house then limit the list of things that you want to remember to ten. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Wednesday, June 26, 2024

The Magic of the Human Body

I was just thinking today it really is a miracle, the human body. Whether it be from God, evolution or a combination of both, I have no idea but we really are an amazing species.

I am willing to bet that most of you, if not all of you reading this can walk and talk normally. You probably take those basic, simple things for granted. I know that I used to. 

Just the simple act of breathing is done automatically without any effort from you. Same deal for your beating heart. 

Our bodies are amazing machines. Just the simple act of standing up and walking requires input from your brain and a ton of different muscle groups are needed plus balance and equilibrium. However, I am willing to bet you do it without giving it a second thought.

Our brains are also amazing organs. They contain billions of neurons and allow us to talk, walk be creative and they control everything that we do. If you remove your brain, are you still you? If you switch bodies with someone else but you kept your own brain, are you still you?

Our brains are something like 10% of our body weight but they consume something like 80% of our nutrients. Don't even get me started on languages. Knowing one is amazing in its own right. I am lucky enough to know two. 

I don't know the answer to those questions. However, I marvel at how wonderful our bodies are and I am thankful to be alive and have a (mostly) functioning body and a healthy mind.

Just think, we all start out as a ball of cells. Just a mix of our parents DNA. However, if everything goes well, nine months later you get a fully formed human with their own personality. 

If everything continues to go well, that baby will eventually become an adult and the cycle of life will start all over again. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Average Life Expectancy

Today I was just thinking about the average life expectancy of humans in general. Obviously as technology and health care have improved, average life expectancy has been increased.

Here in Spain it is 84 years old and back home in the US it is 79 years old. Less than Spain but still pretty good.

For most of human history, the average life span was just 30 or 40 years. That would mean statistically I would die next year and my parents would have died 29 years ago.

I am very lucky that they are still alive (as is my grandmother who is 88!). I have no idea how long any of us will live but, I am thankful for each and every day that I am given.

If I could go back in time and visit the past I would do it. However, I would not want to live permanently without the comforts of modern life and modern medicine. 

That is all for now, Tyler 

Monday, June 24, 2024

The upsides and downsides of living in Spain

I wanted to give you my dear readers, a little insight into the life here in Spain.

Really I can't complain too much about the life here. Spain has good security, infrastructure, health care and education. 

The government helps those in need. While we do pay more in taxes, we receive more benefits. The health care and education are paid for by the government. Those are your two biggest expenses as a normal person so I consider us lucky, especially given my health situation. 

It is hard to be far away from my family and friends and if you don't speak Spanish, you will struggle here. But overall, the pace of life is slower here and people take the time to get out and socialize with each other. I like the fact that everyone is not so focused on working just to pay off credit card debt. 

Because when you die, it won't matter how much money you had, but it will matter how you chose to spend your time. Spend your time wisely with your loved ones. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Sunday, June 23, 2024

Thinking about my life

I was just thinking about my life today and despite my health issues I am very lucky. I might have limited mobility and speech issuess but I am still relatively young and fairly independent.

I have a loving family and friends and I have been lucky enough to visit 44 different countries (and hopefully more!) and to have lived in 7 different countries.

I have had the luxury of making mist and learning from them, while also making some good decisions. I will take the good with the bad. Overall, I am thankful to still be vertical and breathing. I will try to take advantage of every day that I am given. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Saturday, June 22, 2024

My childhood dream job

As a kid, I was obsessed with the military. I had a dream of serving my country and getting a paycheck for life after 25 years of service. As I grew older this dream didn't fade.

When I turned 18, I went to my local army recruitment office but I was denied entry into the army due to my preexisting health issues and my 
Zneed for daily prescription medication.

I then tried the airforce, navy, marines and even the coast guard. I was given the same denial for the same reasons as the Army. 

I was very sad and frustrated. I did not have a plan B because I didn't even consider another career choice.

However, I have managed to scrap together a decent life for myself and have avoided going to war. I have traveled the world without being in the military. So I would say that I have made the best of a bad situation. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Sunday, June 16, 2024

Father's Day in the US

Today is Father's Day back home in the US. While it is not Father's Day here in Spain, I wanted to make a special post about my dad.

Mark Horton is quite possibly the world's best dad and I hope to be half the father to Eliana that he has been to me. 

I gave my dad hell as an unruly teenager, however he was always kind, patient and loving to me. He only spanked me when I deserved it. He was fair and he put up with a lot having three wild boys. 

I managed to survive all of his operations, like his home made failed tooth extraction, where he tied a string to my tooth and then the door. He has been a great dad and I hope to have many more happy years with him.

I am quite sure that I have tested his patience more than once. However, he always supported me in whatever I choose to do. Even when my life choices took me far away from him physically, he has always remained close to my heart. 

He has accepted Jenny as his own and he loves his grand daughter Eliana to pieces. I couldn't ask for a better example to look up to. 

I love you dad, Tyler 

My thoughts on marriage

I wanted to share my thoughts on marriage with you. Marriage is hard work. Anyone who says otherwise, has never been married. Putting two different people together 24/7 and forcing them to make a life together isn't easy.

Jenny and I didn't officially live together before we got married because she was against the idea. However, I believe that it would have made the transition of bringing our lives together easier. 

Jenny and I are very similar in many ways, and very different in others. She is very clean and organized and I am not. However, I realized very early on in our marriage, that it was easier for me to get cleaner and more organized than it was to make her like me. Her way takes more effort and time inincially but it pays off in the long run.

Jenny and I didn't fall in love instantly. In fact, we had a terrible first date. 

Everyone in Colombia always arrives late. Rather than arrive on time, and have to wait for her, I decided to arrive thirty minutes late to our first date, assuming that she would also be late (so then technically I would be on time) 

What I didn't know at the time, was that she is always on time everywhere. So, she called me to ask where I was and I was on the bus 20 minutes away. However, like any good Colombian, I lied and said that I was five minutes away. I ended up arriving 30 minutes late to our first date. 

Then, I drug her all over Bogotá, with her walking in high heels and it was freezing cold. Only to find out that the bar I wanted to take her to was closed.

I had no backup plan. So I took her to the first place that I saw. It was a terrible, run down dive bar full of music so loud that you couldn't talk without screaming at each other. 

I was convinced that she would never see me again after our terrible first date. Yet, somehow amazingly, I convinced her for a second date and I planned much better.

Then we just kept on seeing each other and before I knew it, I realized that I could not live without her. However, it was a gradual process. It was not love at first sight. 

Jenny and I are two very different people, we have our problems like any couple. I am by no means perfect. I try though. 

I want to be the best husband and father that I can be. We have had a lot of ups and downs but there is no one else that I would rather be with. I love Jenny despite her flaws and luckily she loves me back 

Now eight years later, we are living in Pamplona Spain with a wild 3 year old daughter whom we love more than anything. I hope the three of us get many more happy years together. 

Til next time, Tyler 


Friday, June 14, 2024

My Health - Looking into the future

I wanted to give you a more detailed health outlook for the future. My progress has been small but it is slow and steady. I know that this is a marathon not a sprint. However, even if I am like this for five years total, in my entire lifespan, five years is just the blink of an eye.

I hope that I will have many more years happy years left with my family and friends. Everyone has been so supportive and helpful to me. I am truly a lucky guy. 

The most frustrating thing about living with my condition is losing my independence and the ability to walk and talk correctly. I used to take those things for granted. However, I do not anymore! Walking and talking are a miracle. Most people are lucky to do it without thinking about it.

My brain is healing faster than my body is. So sometimes my brain will send a command to my body, like move your left leg. Then my body will just ignore it and not respond. It is very frustrating. I am relatively young still, mentally but physically, I am trapped in an old man's body. 

Having to use thickener with my liquids is annoying but not the end of the world. Luckily, I can eat any solid food that I want. After being on a liquid diet when I was in the hospital, was terrible and I lost a lot of weight. So I consider myself lucky now. 

My short term memory has been affected by all of the anesthesia that I had. So now I write down everything in my phone so I don't forget. But again, this is more annoying than the end of the world. 

I always used to have bad handwriting but it was legible. Now after all of this, my handwriting is not legible. So I prefer to use the computer or my phone so you can read it. 

I used to have shakes and tremors a lot due to my weak muscle tone and my head and neck swayed like I was on a cruise ship constantly. However, since I have been going to physical therapy four times a week, all of that has mostly disappeared. 

My left eye went crooked due to the increased brain pressure and my vision deteriorated but I have worn glasses since I was 12. I can no longer wear contacts but I don't mind really. At least I am not blind or paralyzed, even if I do have bad balance and rely on a wheelchair or walker to get around. 

The only operation that I have left to go through is one to straighten my crooked left eye. It will only fix it cosmetically, it won't improve my vision but at least it will look normal again. 

I am lucky to know that I will only continue to improve my life slowly but surely and eventually I will get back to normal life again. I am a lucky guy and I am lucky to know that my condition will only continue to improve with time and effort and not get progressively worse. 

My situation sounds terrible but, Jenny and Eliana have both been extremely helpful and supportive even though they never asked for this situation. 

Jenny 's family has also been amazing as have my friends and family. I am a lucky man and blessed to be alive and relatively normal despite my health issues.

The last thing that I want to mention is my current work situation. Obviously, I can no longer teach English due to my limited mobility and speech issues. Unfortunately, I didn't work enough years back home to qualify for social security and I would have to work 20 more years here in Spain to qualify for a pension. So I am between a rock and a hard place.

I am now looking for a job that I can do from home that doesn't require me to talk on the phone. It has not been easy to find something so far but I won't give up. I would be willing to get a job outside of the house if it is a good fit. However, working from home would be more isolating, but easier for me. 

I feel bad for Jenny because right now she is the only one who is working and I want to take some stress off her shoulders and contribute financially again. 

That is all in a nutshell, Tyler 

Wednesday, June 12, 2024

Some more thoughts on the eventual end of my life

Maybe I spend too much time thinking about the eventual end of my life but I think that it is better to be prepared than the opposite.

Many people do not like thinking about their own death because it scares them. However, I am not scared of my death. Of course, being sane, I hope my death is relatively painless and far off, but I am prepared for it. 

I hope to have many more happy years with Jenny and Eliana and my family and friends. However, just like everyone else, I do not know how long I have with any confidence. That means despite my health issues I must be grateful for everything and every day that I am given.

I have good days and bad days like everyone. However, I am thankful for every day that I am still vertical. Even on the bad or boring days I try to remember that I should be appreciative of every day that I am given. 

The reason why I have prepared so throughly for my eventual death is that I have had a lot of time to think about my death (and I have been close to it a few times) while I hope it is a long time from now, I am prepared for it to be tomorrow because I consider my death only the beginning of my next adventure. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Monday, June 10, 2024

Jenny and Eliana

Edit: I accidentally posted this twice, each post being slightly different. So I decided to combine them into one.

I wanted to give a special shout out specifically to Jenny and Eliana. I couldn't do this without either of them. Firstly, my wife Jenny is a saint.

She is kind, loving and supportive. She is my rock and one of the main reasons I keep going every day. She is the strongest person I have ever known. 

Everyone tells me how strong I am because this condition affects me physically and mentally. It is true that I have been through a lot but Jenny was 8 months pregnant with Eliana when I first got sick. Yet she came up to the hospital every day with a smile on her face.

She saw me at my worst but continued to stand by me. I am not perfect, and there were (and are) days that it is very frustrating to be around me. Yet she continues to love me through it all. 

She is also the most determined person that I know. When she wants something better, she will do anything to get it. 

I had no plans to ever get a masters degree in bilingual education but she convinced me to do it. It was not easy, but it allowed me to get a job at Los Andes University in Bogotá. Which I never could have dreamed would happen. It is the equivalent of working at Harvard University in the United States. 

I was not able to be present for Eliana's birth due to being sick but my mother in law was there for Jenny when I couldn't be. Jenny is very brave and a great mom to our daughter.

Jenny and I are very different in many ways, and we have our problems like any couple but, she has supported me through all of the trials and tribulations of life and there is no one who I would rather be with.

She is working hard to support our family while I can't. Even though I am currently looking for a home based job. I am forever grateful for her. 

She is not perfect but I never expected perfection. I love her despite her flaws. 

Now onto Eliana. She is the greatest joy of my life and the best thing I have ever done. My only regret is that I waited so long to have a child because I was scared of the responsibility of fatherhood. 

Eliana is kind, loving attentive and so very smart. I see her growing like a weed and learning new things every day. She has her moments like any typical 3 year old but overall we won the lottery with her. I love her to the moon and back. 

She treats me the same as any able bodied father and my limited mobility doesn't seem to bother her. I am very thankful for that. She also has a great sense of humor. She is stubborn as a mule sometimes but she gets that from me! Because Jenny is a lot of things but stubborn is not one of them. 

When I was 3 years old, I tried playing with my grandparents TV. It had big tactile buttons you could push. My parents constantly told me that I couldn't touch the TV. 

My parents entered the room hearing my screams of delight. I was with my grandfather (the father of my mother) and he let me push all the TV buttons that I wanted.

He went on to say, if he lived to be 100 years old he would never forget my screams of delight. I feel exactly the same way when I hear my daughter laughing.

Well that is all I wanted to say, Tyler 
 I know I have said this before, but I am extremely grateful, thankful and lucky to have Jenny and Eliana in my life. I am very fortunate to have them both. I would not be able to do this without their love, help and support.

In no particular order, Jenny is kind, hard working, loyal, loving, driven, selfless, a good friend, wife and mother to our daughter. I am a lucky guy to have found her (and convince her to marry me!)

Jenny is also the strongest person that I know. Everyone always tells me how strong I am, because this condition affects me more visably yet I continue to stay positive. It is true that it is not easy being me. 

However, Jenny was eight months pregnant when I was at my sickest. Yet she came up to the hospital every day to visit me. Not to mention, that I was unable to be present for Eliana 's birth due to being sick but Jenny took my mother in law along instead. After 24 hours in labor they finally decided to do a C-section and luckily Eliana was born healthy 

My life and recovery have not been easy, but you couldn't pay me to trade places with Jenny. I am very lucky to have her.

Eliana is growing like a weed. She is kind, loving, smart, selfless, empathetic, a good friend and an excellent nurse. All at 3 years old. I have put her through a lot unintentionally, with all of my health issues but she has been amazing.

My favorite part of the day is when she gets home from school and gives me a big hug and tells me all about her day. Even though I have limited mobility, she doesn't treat me any different than anyone else. 

If I am honest, I delayed having a child until I was almost 36 because I was afraid of the responsibility of being a father. My dad is such a good dad I was worried I would be bad at it.

After much convincing, Jenny persuaded me to become a father. I was reluctant at first, but the first time I held Eliana in my arms, I cried like a baby and I knew instantly that I would love her always and forever with all of my heart. 

At first, I was very worried that Eliana would be born with my medical conditions. However, we were very lucky and nothing I have is genetic. She was born perfectly healthy, and other than the occasional fever or flu she has been perfectly healthy. 

She makes me crazy sometimes, but we won the baby lottery. She was a good baby, she is a good toddler, and before I can blink my eyes, she will be a teenager then an adult. 

My only regret is that I didn't have a child when I was younger and healthier. My parents were 30 when they had me. I always thought 30 was so old to have kids but I was almost 36 when Eliana was born!

Every parent passes down parts of their personality, the good and the bad, to their children whether they intend to or not. I can admit that I am stubborn as a mule. Whenever I don't want to do something, I don't do it and there is no way anyone can convince me to change my mind. 

This can be both good or bad depending on the situation. I didn't raise Eliana to be as stubborn as me, yet it happened anyway. There is no convincing her to do something that she doesn't want to do. It can be frustrating sometimes. 

Jenny is many things, both good and bad. However, stubborn she is not. So Eliana got this one directly from me. 

I have a long, slow road to recovery but I know that I will get there sooner or later. I hope that I will get many more happy years with Jenny and Eliana. 

That is all I wanted to get off my chest, Tyler 

Sunday, June 09, 2024

Who I am thankful for

This will be a long one so strap in tight. I wanted to write this to thank everyone for their support and help both financially and otherwise.

Firstly, I want to thank my wife Jenny and daughter Eliana. They did not ask to be put into this situation, but they have both handled it with low, kindness, patience and stability. 

I have been sick and with limited mobility for the entirity of Eliana 's short life. At first, I was worried that she would treat me differently. However, she doesn't notice the walker or wheelchair and she treats me the same as anybody else. 

My daughter Eliana is kind, caring, empathetic and always willing to help me with anything that I need. She is also an excellent nurse. She has had to deal with a lot during her short life but I love her to the moon and back and I am a lucky to have her. I hope to give her and Jenny a normal quality of life one day soon.  They deserve nothing less. 

I am sure it was quite scary for Jenny being eight months pregnant when I was at my sickest. Yet, she came up to the hospital every day without fail and was there every time I woke up after 12 brain surgeries.

She is the strongest person that I have ever known and I couldn't do this without her. 

I know that she is under a lot of stress due to her currently being the only bread winner since I am not currently working. It has been hard on her since I lost my independence and have limited mobility. However, I am extremely happy, lucky and thankful to have her by my side.

Next, I want to thank my family. They have all been amazing. My mom came to Spain when I was at my sickest point and she stayed with me every day for six weeks when I was in the hospital in Barcelona.

She slept in an uncomfortable hospital chair and was there every time I opened my eyes. She forced me to eat when all I could have was nasty pureed gruel. 

She saw me at a low point in my recovery yet she stuck by me. I am forever grateful for her unconditional love and support. I am a lucky guy. It must have been a scary experience for her but she faced it with strength and courage. 

I can't forget about my dad. Last year, I spent six months at home in Texas while I was recovering. My dad went to the gym six days a week with me and got m personal trainer. 

I ended up in the best shape of my life. He forced me to work out even when I didn't want to and he worked out right along side me. He also took me swimming daily (until I fell and broke my hand). 

He helped me shower and go to the bathroom when I was unable do it myself. He did it all without complaining. I am sure he was scared seeing me sick and sometimes I hated him for pushing me so hard. However, it was for my own good. I will be forever grateful for his unconditional love and support.

I also need to thank my brothers. Jason and Lucas have been a great help throughout all of this. Always willing to help in any way that they can. I love them both and I am lucky to have them in my life. Jason's wife Lou has also been very kind to me. 

Next, I need to thank my in laws. They have been amazingly supportive during this time and help us out a ton with Eliana. Getting free childcare is not a luxury that everybody has so we are very blessed. 

My father in law has been with me to every one of my hundreds of different medical appointments and he treats me like I am his own son.
My mother in law has been amazing too. Always willing to help me or Eliana anytime that we need it and she drops everything else without complaining. 

 My in laws had no experience with hydrocephalus or any medical condition prior to this but they have been amazing and I am thankful. 

My brother in law and his wife and Jenny 'a younger sister have also been great. My sister in law Rebecca (Daniel' s wife) stayed with me all day in the hospital after one of my failed operations to correct my lazy left eye.

Ana, Jenny 's younger sister has also been a great help. Always willing to help me out any time I need it. I am very thankful for her too.

 I want to thank all of my various doctors and nurses. This has been a long, hard road to recovery but I will get there. They probably could have fixed me faster back home, but I have gotten good care here and they have tried their best.

I want to single out my primary doctor Juan José. Here in Pamplona, you are required to go to the doctor closest to your neighborhood. However, my doctor is located in my in laws neighborhood. We started going there when we lived with them temporarily.

However, he is such a good, kind, caring and trustworthy doctor that we decided not to switch doctors when we moved. Making the drive to see him is worth it. 

I also want to thank my neurosurgeon here. She has been great and really tried everything she knew to get me back to normal life. I am very grateful to her. 

I also need to thank Dr. Poca from Barcelona. She removed all my previous shunt stuff and gave me two new ones that have a special technology that allows them to sync together and not fight against each other.

I need to mention all of my friends and everyone who donated to my GoFundMe. Since I am not working, there selfless financial giving has helped us out a ton. Everyone who follows my English language learning channel Djath English or this blog or my new podcast Talking to Tyler deserves a special shout out.

I am also thankful for Jenny 's boss Martin. I have never met him as he lives in Germany but I always asks how I am doing and he gives Jenny paid time off any time that she needs to help me. He seems like a really nice guy. 

Thank you again to everyone. I love you all and I hope I didn't miss anyone. Til next time, Tyler 

Friday, June 07, 2024

The story behind my scars

I was picked on mercilessly as a kid because I looked different from everyone else due to all my scars from the various surgeries that I have had. As you can imagine kids can be incredibly cruel to someone who looks different. 

As a kid, I grew my hair out long and always tried to comb it in such a way that I could maximize the coverage of the scars on my head. 

As an adult, with no one making fun of me anymore, I have gone the opposite direction and I keep my hair short because of the heat and I never have to comb it. 

My wife Jenny cuts my hair so I haven't paid for a haircut in 8 years. I have had 29 surgeries thus far, if you add them all up. I have one last surgery to straighten my crooked left eye but it should be a piece of cake compared to what I have already been thru.

I look at all of my scars on my head, neck and stomach as a reminder of what I have made it through. I am proud of my scars now even though it looks like I got attacked by a bear! 

That's it for now, Tyler 

Thursday, June 06, 2024

My Politics

I am a lot more liberal than most people back home. However, living abroad has allowed me to compare living in the US vs living abroad.

The US is still a great country but our mentality of do it yourself independence is sometimes to our detriment. 

I believe there is a place for the government to help those in need. No one should go hungry or need to go into life long medical or educational debt. The government should also provide paid maternal /paternal leave and have affordable childcare for working parents. 

You also should not be taxed by your home country if you live abroad. I pay taxes every year to a country whose services I do not use. I pay taxes yet I have no representation, precisely the reason for the Revolutionary War against the British. 

These are basic things that other countries provide. So, the excuse that the US can't do it doesn't fly. It is only that collectively Americans do not have the political will to do it. 

The government should charge more in taxes to everyone but provide the basics for a decent standard of living to everyone. 

This is of course my opinion, you are free to agree or disagree with me. I may take a lot of heat for this blog post but I stand by what I wrote and I am happy to come out of the closet so to speak.

Til next time, Tyler 

Wednesday, June 05, 2024

When I die - my final wishes

No one likes to think about their own eventual death. However, given all the surgeries that I have had and all the time that I have been in the hospital I have had plenty of time to plan for my eventual (and hopefully long off) death.

I have a legally binding Will and medical power of attorney. Additionally, I have planned out my funeral and what to do with my body. 

The only thing that I have not done yet is write my own obituary. That seems like a step to far, even for me. 

Everything is in both English and Spanish. 

I have done all of this because I do not want my loved ones to agonize more over my wishes when I am gone.

Euthanasia is legal here in Spain thank God. However, I have always said that I would never request it unless I get diagnosed with altheimer's disease or another similar disease where I will slowly lose my mental faculties.

I am willing to fight through anything else as long as I have breath in my body. However, I do want to become a burden for my family and slowly waste away. 

At my funeral, I want friends in low places by Garth Brooks played. That has always been my favorite song. I also want everyone to wear festive clothing, black is so drab and depressing. 

I also have what I want written on my headstone but Jenny informed me that due to lack of space, here in Spain you can only get a burial plot for 30 years then they dig you up and give your plot to someone else. 

Since I will be cremated, I decided to put what I was going to write on my headstone, on the urn my ashes will go in. I want it to be inscribed with "Here is a man who got all he ever wanted". 

I want to donate my body to science before I am cremated so hopefully they can learn something. Additionally, I am an organ donor. I want to be cremated as cheaply as possible. I will be dead, no need to spend a ton of money right at the end. 

I have had some health issues as of late but I still consider myself very lucky and I have amazing family and friends. I am very thankful for all of them. I hope to have many more years left with them.

That is all I wanted to say for now. Even if you don't agree with all of my decisions thank you for taking the time to read this. I wrote this blog post to inform everyone and to have another written record of my final wishes. 

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

My new YouTube channel

I also thought that I should mention that I started a new YouTube channel for people who want to learn English.

I plan on releasing three YouTube shorts (videos of one minute or less) a week, Monday through Wednesday and a long format video every Thursday. 

I use an artificial voice from Google to convert my text to speech and I use chat gpt to make my scripts. It allows me to do the only thing I have ever been any good at, albeit in a new and different way. 

If I get really lucky and manage to get at least 1000 subscribers and 4000 viewing hours then I will start earning money from my YouTube channel. This will be in addition to my podcast. 

Check me out at DjathEnglish on YouTube. Take care, Tyler 

Monday, May 20, 2024

My new podcast

I have some big news to report to you dear readers. I am starting a podcast using my real voice for speaking practice.

I have created a new website, www.talkingtotyler.blogspot.com where I will post a link to my YouTube channel where I will be uploading the podcasts.

My YouTube channel is called Talking To Tyler

I decided to have make the podcast in conversational style with my friends and family. I ask them ten questions and they ask me ten questions in return. 

I will be uploading one new episode every month. There are a few seconds of silence on my first recording, but the audio does start. I hope you enjoy this experiment with me. 

That is basically all. I just wanted to let you know. Take care. I hope you enjoy my new podcast. - Tyler 

Tuesday, May 14, 2024

That time I broke my hand

I had never broken a bone until I was 38 years old. Even though I have had a ton of surgeries, I managed to make it 38 years without breaking a bone.

However, I fell down while using my stand up walker and when I went to brace myself with my hand, I ended up breaking two bones in my hand. 

I also cut my forehead and bled like a stuck pig. I had to have ten stitches in my head. 

I am all better now and hopefully I don't break anything else. I did have to get a cast, and I was unable to swim with it. Now I have full range of motion in my hand. 

Because I broke my hand back home in the United States, my insurance didn't cover that fall and it ended up being extremely expensive. I just thought I would let you know. Til next time, Tyler 

Wednesday, May 08, 2024

How we are choosing to raise our daughter

When Jenny was pregnant with Eliana, we had a lot of discussions about how we were going to raise her. Even though Jenny is more politically conservative than I am, surprisingly we agreed on all the foundational stuff.

Every parent can choose how they want to raise their child. We have chosen to raise Eliana with the following rules. 

We agreed that she will not get an internet enabled phone until at least age 12, she will have minimal daily screen time, she will always try and be kind and polite to everyone and mind her manners and she will learn she can come to us and trust us for anything.

We want her to follow the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated. Basically, we just want her to be a good person and leave this world a better place than she found it. So far I think we have done a pretty good job. She is smart, kind, polite, empathetic, loyal and loving. 

That is all I wanted to say, Tyler 

Friday, May 03, 2024

Day to Day Life

My daily life is honestly pretty boring. I am not currently working (even though I am currently trying to find a job) so I spend every day doing exercise, speech and physical therapy and working on my YouTube channel. More on that later. Then I come home and eat dinner then the next day I do it all over again. 

Sometimes on the weekend, we go out with my in laws. My life may seem boring to some but, I am pretty happy. 

But honestly, a boring life is better than no life at all. I have a wife and daughter who love me and great in laws. Not to mention my amazing family and friends. 

I am a lucky guy who has had some health issues but I trying hard to get back to normal and give my wife and daughter the breaks they so deserve.

I have food in my stomach and a roof over my head. 

That is really all I wanted to say. I am thankful for the good times, the boring times and the bad times.

Take care, Tyler 

Saturday, April 27, 2024

Story Time with Eliana

Last night I tried to tell Eliana a true story from my personal life. However, I quickly realized that she is still a little bit young for true stories.

She was frustrated that there were no big, bad wolves in my story haha. I will now tell you the story I tried telling her. 

When I was about 8 years old, my aunt Bunny and Uncle Mike took me to Carlsbad Caverns which I believe are in New Mexico if I am not wrong.

The guide told everyone in our tour group to lick a certain rock. There were between 20—40 people. The guide warned us if we didn't lick the rock that we would have 7 years of bad luck.

Everyone in our group chose to lick the rock. I however, thought it was disgusting. My aunt and uncle begged me to lick it, as did the tour guide. 

I stuck to my guns though and I never licked the rock. I will be darned, but I truly believe that I did have 7 years of bad luck because of choosing to not lick that rock.

That's it for now, Tyler 

Sunday, April 21, 2024

Therisa


I don't speak about this often because it has been almost nine years and sometimes this subject is very painful for me. I had a dream last night though and I want to remember this dream so I am blogging it for my memory and also sharing it with all of you.

On September 13th 2003 one of my best friends was killed in a car crash. Her name was Therisa Schmidt. We dated on and off in middle school and high school, shared a school locker together and just had your pretty typical teenage relationship. What I didn't realise at the time was just how much I really cared for her. I never found out the depth of my feelings for her until she had already died. She was not killed by a drunk driver or under the influence of any drugs. It was just a really bad accident. This made it all the much harder because I had no one to “blame”. Along with her two other people were killed in the car. The other two I didn't know that well but Therisa I sure did.

After she died I went through all the cycles of grief. I was in disbelief that something like this could happen to a beautiful, amazing 17 year old girl. She was near the top of our high school class and so smart! She had so much to offer and always a smile on her face. When you met her you just knew that she was one of those people who was going to make a difference in this world. I was so angry that she was stolen away from us. Angry at God,angry at the other driver involved, I just hated everything. Eventually though, the anger subsided and I realised that holding onto all that anger was not going to bring her back. Then I just really deeply, deeply missed her and wondered why it had to happen.

I was always looking for that “magic bullet” answer that would help me understand it all. Finally, after all that came the acceptance. I just realised that I was never going to know why she died. She just died and was not coming back. I really took comfort in that fact that she was in a much better place though. I took comfort in the fact that we had some amazing memories together and she had a great 17 years even though they were all too short. I still miss her all the time but I can look back fondly and remember the good times and not the bad times. There are some things I remember about the day she died I wish I could forget but I can't. Overall though 99% of my memories of her are happy ones. I think it really says a lot about a person and their character that they can still affect your life almost 9 years later.

The reason I am even writing this today is because two days ago would have been her 26th birthday so I have been thinking about her a lot. What kind of person would she have become? What would she have done with her life? Would we still be in contact? I like to think so. Well right after she died I was having dreams about her very frequently. Some good and some not so good. These dreams would just not leave me, I have one personal regret involving her that I would dream about quite frequently. Just a lost opportunity. I had the chance to do something great with her and of course at the time I had no idea that we were going to lose her at 17 years old so I passed on it. If I could go back in time to any point in time it would be that night. I would change my stupid 17 year old mind and say yes instead of no.

Well eventually the dreams stopped coming. All the dreams except for one. For 9 years now, roughly about every six months I have the following dream: I am walking down the street and I see Therisa in front of me. She cannot see me but I know without a doubt it is her. I watch her for a minute and start to call out to her. She seems to hear me and starts to turn around, I am very excited because I will get to see her again and talk with her. But, before she can turn all the way around I wake up. I always wake up before we can reconnect. When I wake from the dream I am always left with a sense of profound happiness and peace for her but sadness for me that we cannot reconnect. It is always the same.

Well I woke up on the morning of June 16th 2012 and after almost 9 years of her being gone I had another dream. My dream was that I was with her and we were dancing. I was holding her and we were talking. I was telling her how much I missed her. She told me also how much she missed me. For some reason she has her face buried in my shoulder. So once again I can't see her face. Even after all this time though, I remember almost every detail of her face and what it felt like to hug her. After a while I told her to excuse me please because I had to go to the bathroom. After the song ended we stopped dancing and I left for the bathroom. Once I was in there I started crying. I cried not because I was sad but because I was happy that after all this time we have got to hold each other once again.

Then I woke up. When I woke up I felt really happy to have this dream. Not sad, sad that she is still gone yes. But, happy that she is in a better place and I still have good memories of her.

For me this is deeply personal and I realise that reading this may not be everyone's cup of tea. I really wanted to remember this dream though, and I always told you my readers, that I was going to blog the good,the bad and the ugly. This is definitely a departure from my normal blogs but now you know a little something about a subject that has deeply affected and changed my life for the past 9 years and counting.

Happy late 26th birthday Therisa. You are gone but never ever forgotten.

Tyler