My 40th Birthday

I turned 40 years old today. This is the first time I actually feel kind of old.  At 40 years old I can no longer consider myself a young man. I have now moved into middle age.

The crazy thing, is that I am now as old as my parents were when Lucas was born. Maybe it is because of my mobility issues but I certainly feel my age now that I am over the hill.

I hate getting older not because it bothers me personally to get older, but because my parents are getting older right along with me and I know that they won't be around forever. It just gives me more incentive to take advantage of every day that I have with them. 

Eliana is now 4 years old and growing like a weed. She is learning new things every day and getting more and more of her own personality with her own likes and dislikes. My daughter is becoming a great person and I am very proud of her. I only hope that she leaves this world (long after me) better than she found it it. She is my legacy that I hope will long outlive me. 

I have no idea how much longer that I have left on this earth. Hopefully, a long time, but even if I die tomorrow, I will be happy with my life despite my health struggles. I am truly a lucky guy and I have amazingly supportive family and friends. I wouldn't change anything even if I could. 

I am truly getting old. It is not only the gray hair coming in on my head and beard. Or the fact that I have outlived everyone in the twenty seven club by thirteen years and counting. It isn't the fact that I will be as old as my parents were when Lucas was born. It is the fact that my first students in Thailand are now twenty years old! I hope to have many more happy years left but I will continue to get older. 

I love each and every one of you. I couldn't do this without you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I look forward to continuing my recovery in 2025. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Pity Party

I just noticed something today and I wanted to share it with all of you. I recently have had the feeling that the average person looks at me in my current condition and feels pity for me.

This is frustrating because I don't pity myself. There was a period of time where I was having a pity party for myself. I was very depressed and I was wondering why all of this had to happen to me. 

However, I no longer pity myself. I can't do everything I once could, and I still need help and accommodation with certain things. Despite that fact, I can now do the majority of the daily tasks independently. 

A lady came to deliver a package which I had to sign for. She looked at me (I answered the door in my wheelchair) and she told me that it didn't matter if my signature was messy. I do struggle now with my handwriting. She was only trying to be nice so I am not angry at her. 

What bothers me is that was the first thing that came to her mind. I hope this changes in the future.

Another thing that happened recently was we got our groceries delivered as usual. When I answered the door in my wheelchair the guy offered to bring all of the groceries to our kitchen counter. He was only trying to be nice. I cannot be angry at him. But would he have done the same thing for an able bodied person?

This was really all that I wanted to say. My life and current condition are not ideal. However, any life is better than none at all. I am hopeful that one day, sooner or later I will be able to return to normal life. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Be thankful for the small things

Today I was taking a shower and as I was putting shampoo in my hair, I started to think back to when I was using baby shampoo because the regular shampoo burned my eyes due to my eyes not closing correctly.

I also had to sleep with patches over my eyes for about two years.

I am so thankful that I can now use regular shampoo without it burning my eyes. I no longer have to wear eye patches to sleep. 

Having the ability to close your eyes properly is such a small thing but important. Like most of you, I took things like walking and talking normally for granted. Now I treat them like the miracle that they are.

Having these medical conditions has made me not take anything for granted. Progress is slow and small but it's progress nonetheless. I am in it for the long haul and I am extremely lucky to not have a degenerative condition that will get progressively worse. It will only get better with time and effort. 

Today, I was at neurobidea. That is my facility that I go to for physical therapy. I was talking to Lide my physical therapist, and I mentioned to her how I would love to walk again with a regular 4 wheeled walker and then progress to using a cane and then ideally nothing. 

I asked Lide how long she thought that it would be until I reached those goals. She told me that every person is different. She cannot give me a time line due to that fact. I could walk again normally or use a walker for the rest of my life. 

However, I can now walk for an hour with my walker and I can stand up unassisted for 4 minutes. Prior to a few months ago, I could only stand up unassisted for ten seconds.

Even if I can never walk again without a walker or a walking stick, I will still be grateful to be alive and able to enjoy my life even if things are harder than before. At least I am not paralyzed, bedridden or in a coma. 

Any progress is good progress. I will take what I can get. I only hope that I will be able to return to normal sooner or later. I am also very grateful for my super supportive family and friends. I couldn't do this without them. 

That's it for now, Tyler 

Eliana's 4th Birthday

Yesterday was Eliana's 4th birthday. While I didn't mark her actual birthday with a blog post, I figured that I would do it now.

I have said this many times before, but it bears repeating. My daughter is kind, loving, helpful and empathetic among many other good qualities. 

She is mature beyond her years, mostly due to my health issues. However, it is my goal to allow her to be a kid and allow her to retire from helping me so much. 

I love her to the moon and back and having her was the best decision I've ever made even if she does drive me crazy sometimes!

I hope both of us have many more happy years left together. She is growing up before my eyes. I know that I am going to blink and she will be a teenager. I am going to enjoy her younger years while they last. 

She is lucky to still have one great grandmother, her grand parents on both sides and all of her aunts and uncles on both sides. 

She will be my legacy and hopefully she will outlive me by many years. However, through her, a piece of me will live on forever. 

Eliana Valentina Horton Mojica I love you. 

Love, Dad

Thanksgiving

Since we just celebrated Thanksgiving back home, I wanted to write a short blog about what I am thankful for. I am for my family and friends and each and every one of you reading this. 

I am many things, both good and bad. However, lonely is not one of them. I am truly grateful for all of your support. I am one of the luckiest men alive despite my health challenges.

I am thankful for my beautiful, supportive wife and daughter. I couldn't do this without them. I am also thankful for my super supportive parents and brothers. 

I am thankful for my super supportive in laws and my super supportive brother in law and two sisters in laws. This would be much more difficult without them.

I have an amazing group of friends whom I can't forget to mention. 

I am truly one of the luckiest men alive. I have been blessed beyond measure. I wouldn't change anything even if I could.

Til next time, Tyler