The day of my shunt failure

I realized that I have never given you dear readers a written record of what happened on the day that my shunt failed. I want to rectify that..

Firstly, a little background. I was born three months prematurely back in 1984. Due to this being the case, my brain didn't have time to fully develop my ventricles. So, I developed hydrocephalus or water on the brain. My body was unable to naturally control my brain pressure and drain off the excess brain fluid.

For this reason, the doctors implemented a gravity fed pump that was connected to a tube which drained the excess fluid into my stomach. Actually, it took them three tries to get a shunt implanted that would work correctly. Other than having a shunt tube extension surgery when I was 13, I had no other major issues with my shunt until I was 35 in 2020.

I was always prohibited from playing contact sports due to the risk of damaging my shunt. I was also prohibited from scuba diving because the downward pressure would crush the shunt. I never had an interest in scuba diving though. Additionally, I was bad at mental math and making decisions on the fly.

All of these downsides were things that I could live with though. I had a relatively normal life. I traveled the world, worked as an English teacher, got married and had a child. Life was pretty good. I always knew in the back of my mind, that my shunt could fail. However, I never expected the six years and counting of recovery that I have had.

One day (I can't remember exactly when) back in 2020, I woke as normal but I was dizzy vomiting and I couldn't walk. I knew something was wrong immediately because I had been living normal life just 24 hours previously. I immediately went to the hospital here in Pamplona Spain. Luckily, they got me looked at quite quickly. I was diagnosed with catastrophic vp shunt failure. Due to being 35 years old my entire shunt system failed all at once.

The immediate affect of the shunt failure, was an uncontrolled increase in my brain pressure. This caused my left pupil to shift off center which affects my balance. The increase in brain pressure also caused facial paralysis similar to a stroke victim, even though I never had a stroke. The uncontrolled increase in brain pressure caused damage to the fourth ventricle in my brain. This is the ventricle which controls your speech, balance, stability and mobility. 

As a result of all of this, between 2020-2022, I was constantly in and out of the hospital here in Pamplona. They ended up having to implant a second vp shunt, only dedicated to my fourth ventricle, which had walled itself off and was no longer communicating with the other three ventricles. I ended up having six full brain surgeries between 2020-2022. I was even the first person in Spain to undergo a surgery where they tried to implant a stent on my brain, with the goal of unblocking my fourth ventricle and getting me back to one shunt only. Unfortunately, that surgery failed.

It was during this time, that I was put on a total liquid diet due to the facial paralysis and my inability to hold down solid food. I was vomiting nearly constantly. I lost weight until I was just skin and bones.

Fast forward to 2023, the doctors in Pamplona were out of ideas. They tried their best to help me but I was not getting any better. We started a search for another neurosurgeon. We ended up finding Doctor Poca in Barcelona, Spain. She is actually a pediatric neurosurgeon. However, she agreed to take me on as a patient.

We got me transfered to Barcelona and under doctor Poca's care I ended up having six additional brain surgeries. She took out everything that I had previously, and she gave me two new programmable vp shunts which can have their pressure adjusted up or down, via a special magnet rather than undergoing another brain surgery only to adjust the shunt pressure.

One of the problems that I was having was that my two shunts that they gave me in Pamplona, had no way to sync with each other. So, one would work and the other would not. This was causing me a lot of issues. Dr. Poca solved this issue by giving me two new programmable vp shunts which did have the ability to sync together and not fight against each other. She also solved the issue of my near constant vomiting. She discovered an old piece of my original vp shunt tube lodged in my stomach lining and after she removed it, I was able to gain weight again and go back to eating solid food.

By the time I get released to go back home to Pamplona Spain with my wife and daughter Eliana Valentina, I had spent about nine months cumulatively in the hospital and undergone 12 brain surgeries and one failed eye surgery to try and correct my off centered left pupil. However, I was finally stable and able to slowly but surely recover at home with my family.

Because of the fact that during all of my hospitalizations I went through a period of clinical depression. I was put on an antidepressant. Luckily, I never got bad enough to want to end my life. However, I did naturally have lower levels of dopamine in my brain. That is the chemical that gives you motivation, reward, drive and happiness. For this reason, I wasn't motivated to do anything. I only opened my eyes because it was an automatic response from my body. I got no enjoyment out of life. I was stuck in this negative cycle for a long time. Never being motivated to get any better, never seeing any significant progress. Because I never saw any progress, I was never motivated to try and the negative cycle continued.

After a year or two, my depression lifted and I got taken off of my antidepressant. However, I still wasn't seeing any significant progress. That is, until I had the opportunity to return home to Texas in January of 2026. I won't rehash everything but needless to say, I started making huge progress.

This has not been an easy road to recovery for me or anyone else around me. This has profoundly changed my life in more ways than one. I went from having a relatively normal life, not being dependent on anyone, to in 24 hours, being totally dependent on my wife and those around me just for my daily basic needs. I am dealing with both limited mobility and facial paralysis at the same time. I never expected this nor would I wish this upon my worst enemy.

Life is certainly not easy for me. Nothing is easy or automatic anymore. Because of my damaged optical nerves, I have bad vision. Even when I can see a physical obstacle, it takes my brain longer than the average amount of time to process the problem and figure out a solution. I have had to become patient with my brain and my body. I can do (almost) anything that I want to do. However, it normally doesn't happen on the first try without effort. I have to try repetitively. Even though everything is more difficult for me, it is not impossible. There is a big difference between being difficult or being impossible. 

However, I consider myself very fortunate. I have family and friends who love me. An amazing wife, daughter and inlaws. I do not have a degenerative condition, in fact my situation is exactly the opposite. With time and effort, I will only continue to improve. The closer I get to normal life, the closer I can get everyone around me who supports me back to normal life also. Life is not easy but I have so much to live for. I am looking forward to the possibility of walking again unassisted via the help that I am getting from my Pons Training (see my separate blog post for more details). It is extremely demanding, working out six times a day, six days a week. However, if it actually restores my mobility then it will be worth it. Having to deal with only facial paralysis will be so much easier. I am so much better off than some other people despite all of my struggles. I am grateful, thankful and blessed for every day that I remain above ground.

Til next time, Tyler 

My little brother Mason

I have never spoken about this publically but after clearing it with my mom I have decided to write about my little brother Mason.

I never got to know him, but I know that he was born prematurely and with various health problems. This would have been 1986 when I was two years old. Unfortunately, he passed away after only one month of being alive. As sad as it was for my parents, it was actually a blessing because he would have had to deal with so many health issues, I am unsure if he would have ever had a great quality of life.

Had he lived through, I am sure that things would have been very different. Jason would not be in the picture and it is possible that Lucas would have never been born. Everything happens for a reason. I used to wonder if I would see him in Heaven one day. However, I know longer wonder about that. Because it says directly in the Bible, that anyone who dies below the age of accountability, goes directly to Heaven.

I never got the chance to meet him but I am sure that he would have been a great person. I am thankful that his fight ended before it began, as sad as it is. Both of my parents are very strong people emotionally, dealing with his death and all of my health issues. I am super fortunate for the opportunities that I have had in this life thanks to my parents. Life has not been easy, especially these past six years. However, I wouldn't change anything even if I could. I have learned so much from all of this.

Til next time, Tyler 

My Testimony

 Many of you have already seen the video that I recorded in which I shared my testumony. However, I wanted to preserve a written record as well. 

I want to start off this story by apologizing for my speech. I have been affected by facial paralysis due to a traumatic brain injury which I acquired due to uncontrolled hydrocephalus, which is water on the brain. The result of all this has left me with limited mobility and speech issues. I am making huge progress though, via my own efforts in retraining my brain and body to work together. Luckily, my recovery window is not closed as I was told previously. All of my efforts are not easy and I have to work out six days a week relentlessly. However, it is absolutely worth it to know that my brain is responding after going dormant for six years. I have learned throughout this journey, to never stop trying and never give up hope for a better future. My life is not easy, I would not wish this on my worst enemy. However, life is absolutely worth living. I am very lucky to have amazing family and friends. I am grateful for every day that I am given and I know that things could be much worse. However, going into all of my medical issues will be a story for another time. 

Now, onto the reason why I am sharing this. I didn't ever expect or deserve this but God gave me a second chance anyway. I have been a Christian ever since I received Jesus in my heart when I was young. However, over the years, I slowly became agnostic. I still believed in God and Jesus but I was not actively following them. I just thought that if I was a believer but not actually following them that it was good enough. 

I just assumed that I could live my life in this limbo, believing in God but not following Him or thinking about Him. That is until Sunday June 14th, 2026. God slapped me in the face and brought me back to Him. You can run and try to hide from God. However, He has a way of finding you. I am so grateful that He cared enough to do so for me. During Sunday church service, Candace was leading us in the song “Better is one day “. The lyrics say, better is one day in His court than 1000 elsewhere. As we sang those words, I felt a feeling of all encompassing love come over me. Think about the love that you feel for your child or spouse. Now multiply that by a billion times. 

Not only did I feel that feeling, which almost moved me to tears (but I didn't want to cry in public because everyone would assume that I was sad instead of happy) suddenly I heard a male voice say to me in English (in my head, not outloud) “I am real and I am God, and this is your proof”. Scientists could measure the room and tell me that there was nothing there. However, I know what I heard and what I felt. It was not logical or rational or anything that I can explain. But I believe with all of my heart that God was talking directly to me. For many years I had been fighting a war within myself between God and my need for a rational, logical human explanation. God finally ended that war. Sometimes, in life things happen that are beyond our limited human understanding and explanation. 

After this happened I tried to rationalize it. I tried very hard to think of a logical explanation as to what had happened like that I had hallucinated. However, the voice that I heard was as real to me as someone standing right next to me. I failed at finding a rational explanation. It was God talking directly to me and no one can convince me otherwise. I will believe that for the rest of my life. God loves you and desperately wants a relationship with you. You only have to believe and be willing to let him in. He doesn't condemn people to Hell and an eternity separated from Him because he gets joy out of it. He does it only as a last resort. I was thinking about my relationship with my own daughter and how much I love her. However, I imagined her treating me the same way I treated God. Of course I would still love her but it would take time and effort to rebuild our relationship. Not so with God. He accepted me back unconditionally and without any hesitation, after years of me ignoring him. It was as if I never strayed at all. He loves me and you. He wants to be with you forever if you will only believe in Him and let him. I have an all encompassing peace that defies human understanding. Because of the fact that I know with certainty where I will go when I die. 

The last thing that I wanted to mention was the story in the Bible about the thief on the Cross, who was crucified next to Jesus. I am certain that he led a terrible life. However, he was truly repentant and truly believed in Jesus. So, when he died, he went to Heaven. The angel guarding the gates of Heaven asked him, “why do you deserve to enter into Heaven? He said, I don't deserve to be here but the man on the middle Cross (referring to Jesus) said that I could come in. I recently saw a billboard that said, “You can't out sin God's love. You may think that you don't deserve to go to Heaven. However, the truth is that none of us do. God loves you anyway. Just open up your heart enough to let him in. Thank you for listening to my story. I hope that it will be of use to someone going through similar struggles. Just know that as long as you have breath in your body, that God loves you and He desires to be with you forever, if you will just let Him. I have a wonderfully supportive family and friend group that I am forever grateful for, however everything that I have I owe to God. I am so thankful for his love, patience, mercy and acceptance. I am lucky to have found my way back to Him. I am forever grateful to God for giving me this unilateral experience. This was nothing that I asked for nor did I deserve it.

Til next time, Tyler 

A Retrospective Look Back

I have mentioned this many times before but in bits and pieces. I wanted to share all of my thoughts condensed into one blog post. I was just thinking today about my life since my shunt failure and resulting TBI (Traumatic brain injury) back in 2020.

It has been a long, hard, slow road to recovery. I am still far from 100% back to normal life, but I have made huge progress. I know that I will get there sooner or later. I have detailed many times before, everything regarding my shunt failure (and why I have a shunt in the first place). So, I won't bore you by rehashing everything.

Between 2020 until 2023, I was constantly in and out of the hospital. I spent around nine months cumulatively in the hospital. I survived twelve brain surgeries and one failed surgery to straighten my left pupil. I wasn't stable health wise until I got transferred to the wonderful Dr. Poca in Barcelona. She implanted me with two programmable vp shunts to deal with the hydrocephalus, but she cured my vomiting and my constant stays in the hospital. I will be forever grateful for her, for taking on my case even though she is a pediatric neurosurgeon.

From 2020 to around 2023, I went through a severe depression, some serious weight loss (due to being put on a puree only diet due to my facial paralysis). In addition to all of the above, I also struggled with (and continue to struggle with, although it has improved a lot) my speech due to the facial paralysis and my balance and stability due to the damage to the fourth ventricle in my brain, caused by the uncontrolled increase in my brain pressure.

Because of the combination of going through my clinical depression and my brain trying to recover from the tbi, my brain naturally produced less dopamine. That is the chemical in your brain that gives you motivation, reward, drive and happiness. I can't blame my lack of progress 100% on my lack of dopamine. However, I like to say that it was 80% lack of dopamine and 20% my own lack of motivation. I researched ways to naturally increase dopamine levels in your brain. Physical exercise is one way to do it. Another is taking a ice cold shower. I started making the last minute of my daily shower, ice cold. At first, I hated it. I would dread the last minute of my shower. However, I forced myself to keep doing it. Now, I love it. It is good for your cardio vascular system, skin, hair and pores. 

For a long time, I was in a very negative mindset. I had convinced myself that I would never get any better. I didn't see any progress, so I didn't try. Because I didn't try, I didn't see any progress. The negative cycle continued. I wasted years of my time and my family's time. It must have been extremely frustrating to be someone who loves me, to know that I was capable of doing so much more, yet the one who was blocking my progress forward was me.

It wasn't until I came back home to Texas in January of 2026, that I was finally able to break free from my negative mindset and finally start making real progress. At first, I didn't notice any changes. My parents forced me to keep exercising. Then, slowly but surely I felt my brain reconnecting with my body.

Vía daily physical exercise, I become able to retrain my brain to relearn the skills that I lost. It is not easy and it requires working out six days a week. However, doing all of this exercise is the only thing that I have found that forces my brain to work correctly with my body. Prior to this, my brain would issue a movement command to my body, which my body would either ignore completely, respond very slowly or respond in the complete wrong way. It is very frustrating.

After I kicked myself out of the negative mindset, I knew that I was back in control of my recovery. For many years I wasted my time and the time of my family and friends by expecting my body and brain to heal themselves with no efforts from me. It seems so absurd, now writing it down but I had convinced myself for a long time that it was a valid strategy.

Once I retook control of my recovery, I became an insatiable reader of books that talk about brain Plasticity (the concept that you can retrain your brain and have the undamaged areas of your brain learn to take over the functions of the damaged areas). It was in a book by Dr Norman Doidge, The Brain that heals itself and his follow up book, The brain that changes itself, that I first learned about the pons device (Portable neuromodulation stimulator device) for balance, stability and mobility recovery. I have already made a separate blog post about my use of the pons device, so I won't rehash everything here. However, I am extremely hopeful that after my twelve weeks of exercising, six times a day for twenty minutes each time (five, twenty minute balance and stability exercise sessions with the pons device) and one deep breathing and meditation session with the pons device). I am very hopeful to regain my full mobility. 

Having limited mobility is currently my biggest hurdle in returning to normal life. My speech is still an issue but it is a small issue compared to my mobility. I want to give my wife and daughter Eliana Valentina (and everyone else around me) a chance at a normal life again. I know that they won't be able to get there until I do.

I want to give a special shout out to my Uncle Richard, my mom's younger brother. He is extremely fit and interested in fitness. Since I have found my motivation, he has been extremely supportive and helpful to me in changing my life. He gifted me a book called The Glucose Revolution, which helped me to clean up my diet, avoid glucose spikes and burn off stubborn belly fat. 

Even more impactful than that though, he was the first person to gift me The British that Changes Itself. Which is where I learned of the existence of the pons device for balance, stability and mobility recovery. I am super grateful to him for all of his help. 

I am forever grateful to my wife Jenny, my daughter Eliana Valentina, my parents (for their unending support and for buying the pons device). All of Jenny's family, my extended family and friends. I couldn't do this without all of them. This has been a long, hard journey for six years and counting. I have made lots of mistakes in the past. However, I am trying not to repeat them. Even if I had the ability to take away everything that I have gone through, I don't think that I would do it. Because I have learned so much throughout this journey. I am so much more grateful for the little, ordinary things now. I am hopeful that when I turn 42 years old in December that I will be as close to normal life as I can get.

Til next time, Tyler 

A More Detailed Look at my Pons Exercise

So I have recently given you a hands on review of my use of the pons device (Portable neuromodulation stimulator device) for balance, stability and mobility recovery. However, I wanted to share some more details with you now that I have been using the pons device for a few weeks.

The mouthpiece has a maximum lifespan of fourteen weeks (if your prescribed treatment last longer than that, you need to buy a new $750 mouthpiece. However, the company that makes and sells the pons device doesn't currently have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) protocol. So, they are classifying me as a stroke victim (even though I never had one).

What this means, is my treatment protocol will be decreased from fourteen weeks to just twelve. At first, I was disappointed understanding that I would have two weeks less time with the device. However, in doing my own research I have come to find out that in twelve weeks of treatment, the studies have shown that you can achieve the full potential benefits of using the pons.

In fact, I have read about people who slack off on their treatment, knowing that they have fourteen weeks versus twelve weeks, they act do themselves a disservice by not giving it their full efforts.

So, I am going to continue trying my hardest until November 20th. I have already noticed small improvements in my balance and stability. For example, prior to using the pons device, because of my brain damage, there was significant delay between my brain issuing a movement command and me actually moving.

The pons device has cut down on that hesitation significantly. Additionally, prior to using the pons device, the precision of my feet was not good. Frequently, my feet would go to the left or right side of where I wanted. The pons device has made me feel much more precise. I am hopeful that all of this time, effort and expense will be worth it in the end.

Til next time, Tyler 

My Pons Training Schedule

I recently wrote a blog post all about receiving my Pons device (Portable neuromodulation stimulator device) if you want more details about it, please read that blog post. In a nutshell, I am hoping to trick my brain into restoring my full mobility, stability and balance using electrical stimulation of my tounge directly to my vestibular system (balance system) which is your eyes, inner ears and brain. I am very hopeful that it will work for me after my fourteen weeks of daily exercise (except for a rest day on Sunday). 

The exercise program is demanding. I am the first person in the entire state of Texas to receive and use the pons device. I must workout five times a day minimum, broken down into twenty minute sessions. You can complete the exercise program alone, using no equipment. However, to get the maximum benefit of using the device, you ideally should have access to a treadmill, parallel bars for balance exercises and an elliptical machine (along with anything else that might help with balance recovery).

I have not been able to get to a gym as of yet here in Spain. However, on Monday, I will be going to my local gym (it is next to Eliana Valentina'school). To register and start working out at a fully equipped gym with the pons device.

There is no guarantee that this will restore my mobility. It will be a long, hard, demanding time of daily exercise for 100 minutes daily, si days a week. However, it will be worth all the time, money and effort if it actually restores me to full mobility again after six years of living with limited mobility. My speech is still an issue (although recently it has improved drastically). However, limited mobility is my biggest hurdle in regaining my independence, and by extension my wife and daughter Eliana Valentina regaining their independence (and everyone else who supports me).

I have said this many times before, I wouldn't wish this to happen to my worst enemy. However, I wouldn't change anything even if I could because I have learned so much from this long journey of six years and counting. I am truly grateful for every day that I have above ground. I am so lucky to have the love and support of my family and friends. I am not paralyzed thank God, nor am I in a coma. There are so many other people so much worse off than me. 

People who have degenerative conditions which they can do nothing about. The only thing that they can do is to hopefully slow down the progression of their disease. I am so lucky to have the ability to afford the pons device and the ability to move my body and hopefully I will fully recover with time and effort. It will not be easy but it will absolutely be worth it.

Thank you for everything. Til next time, Tyler 

My September Update

Now that my mom and I are safely back home in Pamplona Spain, I figured it was time to give all of you dear readers a September update.

Now that I have the pons device (Portable neuromodulation stimulator device) for my hopeful recovery of my balance, stability and mobility, I am using it for between 5-6 twenty minute exercise sessions, 6 days a week. Please see my separate blog post specifically about the pons device if you want more details.

It is a demanding exercise schedule. However, I have managed to do it and not miss any days. This will be a long, hard fourteen weeks. However, if it really does restore my mobility, it will have been worth all of the time, effort and expense. I am still working on regaining my normal speech (although I have come a long way) but regaining my full mobility will give me a degree of freedom that I have not experienced in six years.

I am enjoying getting to spend time not only with my mom but also with Jenny and Eliana Valentina, along with all of Jenny's family as well. I am truly one of the luckiest men alive and I am grateful for every day that I get to spend above ground. Life is hard, but nothing that I want to do is impossible. There are so many people out there who are much worse off than me. I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.

Til next time, Tyler