We have a ton of fun things planned for Eliana and we are going to see my last remaining grandmother plus a ton of other family and friends. We will also be having a party for Jenny and Eliana at the end of June. We have a lot of surprises in store for Eliana Valentina.
I am looking forward not only to telling them about my progress but showing them through my actions. For many years after all of this happened, I was not only clinically depressed but I was without hope and motivation due to a combination of what the doctor's told me about my likely future progress and the lack of dopamine in my brain (that is the chemical that gives you motivation, reward, drive and happiness). I wasn't motivated to do anything to improve myself because the doctor's said that I would never improve.
Because I wasn't motivated to do anything to improve my situation, it only deteriorated further. It was a big vicious cycle. However, both my brain and my body are responding. Everything is slower and harder now. I have to try harder multiple times to do things that most people can do automatically and take for granted.
I am finally free of my prison of depression,hopelessness, dispair, lack of purpose and lack of motivation. It feels so good to to be living again and not just existing. I can know with confidence that while I will have to continue being relentless in my exercises, in order for my brain not to go dormant again, that I have purpose on this earth and I am no longer living like a burden on everyone around me.
Til next time, Tyler
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