A Reason for Joy

I wanted to write this specifically to express my joy at being alive. My life is hard with all of my physical and health challenges. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. However, despite all of my challenges, I have so many things to be thankful for and grateful for in my life.

I have an amazing wife and daughter and my parents and brother's also. Not to mention, my extended family and friends. Along with all of Jenny's family as well. I am far, far luckier than I deserve. 

During this trip, I have grown closer to God, after many years of not being close to Him. I have changed my mentality about being stuck with brain damage and being unable to improve. I have been able to restore my motivation and excitement for life. I am laughing again and being social. 

Life prior to this trip was like watching TV on a black and white TV set. It was viewable but not good. Life now is like watching TV on a full HD TV in 1080p with surround sound. It is truly a night and day difference. I am truly living again. I am excited to see every new day and I am not just existing. 

I will likely never return fully to normal. I will have to continue working out for the rest of my life in order to prevent my brain from going dormant again. However, I can do anything that is realistic, that I set my mind to. It will take me double or triple the time and effort that it would take the average person. However, I can do it. 

I was practicing a certain balance exercise. I failed consistently for 29 days in a row. It really beat me up mentally to think that I would fail yet again. However, I didn't give up on it. On day 30, I successfully did the exercise which I had failed to do 29 days in a row.

I only have to have patience with myself and I have to be strict with myself. I don't have the luxury to take many days off in a row, otherwise my brain will go dormant again. I also have to force my body to do what I want. I don't have the luxury of begging or pleading or politely asking my body to cooperate with me. I have to commend it just like a drill sargent. It doesn't work forever and not all the time. However, it does work for me.

I wouldn't change anything that has happened to me because I have learned an important life lesson from every hardship. I am a lucky guy and grateful for every day that I remain above ground. I am not paralyzed thank God or in a coma. I am in much better shape than some other people. 

Til next time, Tyler 

Til next time, Tyler