A Change in my Mindset

I don't mean to keep rehashing this. However, I am so excited about my progress that I can't stop thinking about it. I fee like jumping for joy. I wanted to write this out because I was inspired to tell all of you dear readers, the recent change in my mindset. As I have previously mentioned, I was told by multiple experts that I had two years to recover from my brain surgeries and whatever recovery that I could achieve in that time is what I could expect for the rest of my life. 

I will be honest with you, while I did have lower levels of dopamine in my brain, which affected my motivation, reward, drive and happiness, I just expected my body to heal itself with no input or effort from me. I did a lot of sleeping and I rarely did anything which would stress me out or force my brain to rewire itself. 

I was making slow, small progress. So, I had no reason to doubt what the experts told me. I don't blame them. They were only telling me what they were doing and told in medical school. I had just accepted that I would always have limited mobility and speech issues and be dependent on others for my basic needs.

That is until I returned home to Texas on January 27th, 2026. I had been told by the vast majority of my doctor's that my window for recovery was closed. I only had been given the faintest of hope by one private neurosurgeon and then had it confirmed by the neurosurgeon who saved my life. However, I still had not made any changes physically or mentally.

Fast forward to me agreeing with Jenny and my parents, to come back home and focus on my recovery until the end of August. I wanted to get as close as possible to normal life as I could in order to take the burden off of everyone around me, even if I never fully returned to normal again. I owed it to myself and to them to keep trying. 

When I first started walking with my mom, five days a week (using my walker) it was hard and I tired easily. However, I did not give up like I would have done in the past. It eventually got easier and more natural. I am glad that I didn't give up. Same story going to the gym with my dad, six days a week. I started out doing only 15 to 20 minutes of exercise daily before becoming exhausted. However, eventually it got easier and more natural. I worked up to exercising one to two hours a day. Everything started coming together between my brain and my limbs. When I first started working out on the elliptical machine, I struggled mightily to get through a half mile (0.85km)in 33 minutes (one round of exercise on the elliptical machine). I thought to myself I would never get 33 minutes of "good time". However, I eventually did get it. I struggled and it was hard but I didn't give up like I would have done in the past. I have learned that there is a big difference between something that is impossible and something that is possible but hard. I am glad that I didn't give up and I was able to reach my potential.

My life is not easy but it is absolutely worth living now. I would not wish this upon my worst enemy. I still have mobility issues and speech issues and I may always have them to some degree. I know now that I will have to stay active five to six days a week for the rest of my natural life. It is not easy or something which I enjoy. However, the alternative is to lose all of the progress that I have worked so hard for and let my brain go dormant again. I refuse to let that happen. The hard work and effort will be worth it in the end. As an added benefit, intense exercise releases a chemical in your brain which scientists have nicknamed "fertilizer" for your brain. It repairs damaged neural pathways and protects against mental decline. Not to mention, it will keep me generally healthy for longer. I will take those benefits. 

When I was in the midst of my depression, things got really bad for a while. I lost all motivation to do anything. I never considered killing myself but it got so bad at one point that I didn't care if I lived or died. I only opened my eyes because it was an automatic response from my body. Even after I made it through the worst of my clinical depression, I still didn't feel like I had purpose in my life. I was just existing. I had accepted my limitations in life and thought that there was nothing I could do to change it. 

That was until I came back home to Texas in January and I madee the proactive choice to take control of my life and recovery. Now, I am eager to wake up every day. I am excited to live life again. I have a loving family and friends and a beautiful wife and daughter who I love and will get to watch grow. I have so many things to look forward to. Of course I wish that none of this ever happened. But it did and I can't change it. I have learned so much from this journey with my health and I am honestly grateful for everything that has happened to me. Things could be much worse than they are. 

Til next time, Tyler