Getting Older

Being able to age is a privilege that not everyone receives. I have had a good friend die at the tender age of 17. I have had multiple friends who died between the ages of 17-49 for multiple different reasons.

My dad's father died at the age of 36. I am only 40 and I have outlined all of those people. I am the same age now as my parents were when Lucas was born.

I don't mind getting older, it is only natural. However, it bothers me that my parents are getting older right along side me. I want them to live as long as I do but I know that is unlikely to happen. 

I have been through a lot, especially in the past few years. However, I still consider myself lucky and blessed. My situation could be much worse. I have no idea how long that I will live, or how I will die. However, living until 89 seems like a good age to go out on. Not too young and not too old.

My only hope is that I can make it through my life without developing Alzheimer's or a similar disease which makes me lose my mind memory. Because I could fight a physical disease like cancer but a mental one would be terrible.

I waited so long to become a father because I was scared of the responsibility. I was almost 36 when Eliana was born. She is my pride and joy though. She will be my legacy and hopefully outlive me by many years. My parents were 30 when they had me. When I was younger, I considered them to be old parents. It is only now that I realize how young they were.

I still feel mentally like I am 18. But physically some days I feel 18. Other days I feel like my current age of 40. Some days I feel like I am 100.

I have a friend who died in a car crash at the tender age of 27 back in 2010. I am still in touch with her mom via Facebook. Unfortunately, she has never really gotten over her only child's death. Until Eliana was born I didn't understand the depth of her love and loss. I do now though. I pray that I never have to experience it. Every day that we are given is a blessing. This life is a miracle.

Til next time, Tyler