I was talking to Ben the other day, my traveling buddy and one of my best friends. He suggested that I write this blog because we were both saying how we feel this way but I am better at expressing my emotions in written form than he is. I can safely say that I speak for both him and I though. Most of you who are not travelers most likely will not be able to understand or relate to this, that is ok. I do not fault you in the least. But, those of you who are travelers may understand our feelings perfectly. I am writing this in the hopes that maybe I can help a fellow traveler who is feeling the same emotions.
Ben and I traveled the world together for 2 years. Between 2009 and 2011. I can say (and I think I speak for him as well) that our travels were some of the best times in our lives. We were both working and living "normal"life but we were so free. It is really indescribable if you haven't lived through a similar experience. We was so happy and so free. Doing whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted free to travel and see the world and explore and take advantage of every opportunity offered to us.
In a way, both of us are living in the past. Because we both compare our current life experiences to the experiences we had four years ago. Our barometer for happiness has become the happiness we felt four years ago. We are constantly trying to reach the point that we felt 4 years ago. We constantly talk with each other (and others) about experiences we had 4 years ago but the only people who care are us. It isn't always good to live in the past, but it is also hard to move on when your barometer for happiness is stuck in the past.
Both of us aren't kids anymore. I am 30 and he is 28. Eventually you have to get your life together and figure out what you are going to do for the future. You can travel for your whole life if you want, but you will most likely end up a lonely old man with no one and nothing. That is not what I wants nor does he. We have such great memories of our travels and it isn't like we can NEVER travel again but now I think our travels just have to change.
I don't want to suggest that I am completely unhappy with my life. That is so far from the truth. I am in love and getting married! Jenny is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I wouldn't change or give up our relationship for anything in the world. I am happy with my life. I guess I am just not happy with routine. Once you break out of the box its hard to go back in again. For the most part I just live my life, go to work,see Jenny and do normal stuff. I mean that is life. I may live in Colombia and many of you thing I live this exotic and amazing life but in reality I do the same things as you, just in a different country. Really the only time my old emotions come flooding back is when I see a video about someone dropping everything in their life and going to travel the world. Once a traveler always a traveler I guess.
More than anything I want a life with Jenny. I want to be married and be with my wife and enjoy married life. I am very excited for that! But I still have that free as a bird spirit. It is hard sometimes to be torn in the middle. The solution I think is to have a conventional life that makes you happy while still trying to do unconventional things to keep it interesting. I just don't want to die and say wow I was so boring and I never did anything, I don't want to grow boring. I want to be exciting and have an exciting life! Luckily now I have Jenny to join me on adventures and I know now that I won't be alone she will always be by my side to support me and I will always be there to support her.
I know that this might not make much sense to some of you but I wrote it to express myself and maybe someone else is feeling the same. Maybe I will help a fellow traveler to know that they are not alone. I just want to reiterate that I am not unhappy with my current life, quite the opposite! I am very excited for my future! Maybe what I need to do is just reset my barometer for happiness. But I welcome your advice/suggestions.